The Week That Was

What a week!

Monday, the wife Vicki gets sick and starts staggering around like a sailor on a 3-day liberty.

This has not been good, so she finally went to the doctor and found she has fluid on her inner ear causing her to be dizzy.

In the meantime, that meant I had to get my own ice tea, put my slippers on myself, turn the TV on and push the buttons to find a program to watch, walk to the mail box and get the mail, step out the front door and get the paper, adjust the air conditioner, give the dogs food and water, make the bed, grocery shop, vacuum the carpet, take out the trash, answer the phone, turn down my own bed and put my chocolate candy on the pillow, and numerous other household chores.

Man, that medicine better work fast. I'm not supposed to do all that kind of work.


Did you see the news?

Illinois Remains Are Not Stacy Peterson's

Testing done on the remains showed they belonged to a male, police said.

Could it be they have finally found Jimmy Hoffa?


What is it about the service at fast food joints?

Ore. man calls 911 over orange juice at McDonald's

An Oregon man spent Memorial Day in jail after calling 911 to complain that a McDonald's worker was rude and didn't give him an orange juice he ordered.

A McDonald's employee also called 911 during the incident, complaining that the man and the people with him were blocking the drive-thru lane and knocking on the restaurant windows.

Intelligence the final frontier.


I wonder how many of you know the history on why 911 is called nine one one?

On the very first test market back east the number was advertised as nine eleven.

The test markets local police departments normal switch board was jammed by calls from area residents complaining they would be unable to place an emergency call with that number.

They complained they did not think they should have to buy new phones because their phone only went to nine and did not have a ten or an eleven on it.

The implementation of the nine eleven number was delayed for months until they flooded the market with advertising using the words one one.


When you get mad, choose your words carefully:

Conn. woman bitten after 'bite me' remark

An analyst at the Connecticut Police Academy says a co-worker responded literally to her "bite me" remark and chomped on her. Former Waterbury police Capt. Francis Woodruff was charged Tuesday with disorderly conduct.

Wyler's complaint alleges Woodruff was annoying her by calling her a clerk. She says she responded with "bite me" — and he did.

Hmmm, a man that follows a woman's instructions - he must be married.


The French are being French again?

French snub British queen, then shrug off uproar
France failed to invite Queen Elizabeth II to Normandy for next week's 65th anniversary of the Allied landings on D-Day.

The diplomatic faux-pas prompted uproar in Britain, which lost thousands at Normandy and across France while helping free the country from the Nazis.

"I don't get it, personally," said Guy Briand, browsing the morning papers on a park bench just off the Champs-Elysees, in the shadow of a bronze memorial statue of Sir Winston Churchill. "If she comes or not, it's her problem."

If England and the United States had not come, the citizens of France would have been speaking German with a French accent.

Do you know in France they sell survival kits to every citizen in case of an emergency? The kit consists of a white flag.

France's only claim to fame was inventing French Fries and Mc Donalds had to perfect that.

Many think the French invented the French kiss but in fact that was invented by an American G.I.

It was D-Day when the American forces were liberating France and an American G.I. was being kissed by a French woman. During his haste to leave and liberate more of the French his tongue touched hers.

Excitedly she kept him in her grasp as long as she could, then when their lips parted and she had never been kissed like that she queried, "What was that?"

"You are French," he shouted "and you kissed me, so it was a French kiss."

And so the French kiss was born.


How's this for a happy ending?

Old Lotto Ticket Is A Big Winner

An Australian woman thought she might help her family by scraping together some cash from old lottery tickets. She had no idea one of the tickets was worth $10 million, solving a jackpot mystery that has confounded Australia for months.

Always like that kind of story.

And the week ends.

A Tribute To Scamp

I am deeply saddened to report the passing one of our dog friends.

The Mountain View Park dog people and their pooches as we are called, will miss her.





Scamp was one of the most easy going dogs you have ever seen and nothing upset her. She seemed to just enjoy every moment.











We will miss Scamp but never forget her.


There is no stronger bond than that of man and his best friend.







To Gene Baxter we extend our deepest sympathies on your loss.

Slow Tuesday

I hope others follow the example of a guy in China.

This has to be the funniest story I have seen in a long time.

Passer-By Pushes Suicidal Jumper

Chen Fuchao, a man heavily in debt, had been contemplating suicide on a bridge in southern China for hours when a passer-by came up, shook his hand — and pushed him off the ledge.

The passer-by, 66-year-old Lai Jiansheng, had been fed up with what he called Chen's "selfish activity." Traffic around the Haizhu bridge in the city of Guangzhou had been backed up for five hours and police had cordoned off the area.

Oh man, memories of Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon. Quick fix to selfish activity for sure.


Speaking of China

I saw an interesting ad for a Chinese restaurant the other day.

It read "authentic Chinese food New York Style."



I know a lot of cops that would like to receive a call to head to the doughnut shop, but I bet several wanted to roll code 3 on this one.

Nudity complaint near Maine topless doughnut shop

VASSALBORO, Maine -Prosecutors will review a complaint that a waitress from a Maine topless doughnut shop was outside the business without a shirt on.

The Central Maine Morning Sentinel says a state trooper was sent to the Grand View Topless Coffee shop on Saturday after someone called in a complaint.

Rumor has it another officer was there and called in the complaint so his fellow officers would join him.



Man, kids are getting smarter at a younger age nowadays.

Boy Takes Wheel After Dad Passes Out

NORTH PLATTE, Neb. - A 6-year-old boy grabbed the wheel of his family's pickup truck when his father passed out from low blood sugar, keeping the vehicle from crashing until an officer could bring it to a halt, police said

The kindergartner steered the truck several blocks, even turning around when he entered a neighborhood he didn't recognize, until he was spotted by police.

North Platte officer Roger Freeze ran up to the moving pickup, reached through an open window and rammed the gearshift into park.

It's a guy thing - boys pay a lot more attention to driving.


Toddler buys earthmover in online auction

New Zealand -A New Zealand mom made some online bids on toys before napping. Then her 3-year-old daughter took over and bought a bigger plaything than expected — a huge earth-moving digger for a cool $12,300.

Pipi Quinlan made the winning 20,000 New Zealand dollar ($12,300) bid on the Kobelco digger with a few mouse clicks at the auction site TradeMe while her parents slept, the Rodney Times newspaper reported in northern New Zealand.

I guess the women like the heavy equipment. I think the women like to move heaven and earth.

Ok so today is another 7 A.M. to midninght shift so there will be no post tomorrow.

Memorial Day Remembering

Let's remember the real reason and not just the holiday sales and parties.

Thank you to those brave men and women who have served, especially those who have given the ultimate sacrifice, so that we may be free. Thank you to those soldiers that are serving to keep us free.

Friday's Spin Zone

Some sad news today.

Mickey Mouse has lost his voice.

Longtime voice of Mickey Mouse dies

Wayne Allwine provided voice for 30 years, with his wife voicing Minnie. He was 62.

I guess I can't go to Disneyland again.


I guess Yogurt is better for you than I thought.

Daniel Carasso, creator of Dannon Yogurt, dies at 103

103 is a great testimony about how good Yogurt must be for you.


Well if you don't know where you are going, unless you can remember how to read a map, you might not get there.

GPS Satellites Could Break Down by 2010

According to a U.S. government report, the nation's satellites used for GPS may be failing and could even begin to malfunction by 2010.

This could mean that even if you can afford a vacation you won't be able to go because you won't know how to get there.


Cash and carry!

I was in a store the other day and I'm not sure if their sign doesn't work or if the store is a victim of hard times.




Politicians

The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.


Olympic Organizers

Canadian prostitutes get training for the Games.


Athletes, coaches and organizers aren't the only people getting ready for next year's Winter Olympics in Vancouver, with training also underway for the city's prostitutes.

A Canadian agency is preparing brochure, training, and support services for sex workers.

OK, I want to know what type training they receive and who does the training. I mean is this like hands on training or or?

So is it like the Olympics where they compete and the judges hold up the score?

Can't you hear the commentators after the judges post their scores, "That was just a 5.7 performance or that was a near perfect 9.5." "Wow John did you see that performance? I have never seen anything like that. Whoa that was a definite 10."

I bet that is a sought after coaching job.


Church bulletin

Sunday the wife Vicki brought home this flyer from her church.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.



In closing always remember this:



Marbles anyone?

Busting My Buttons

So today I have a couple of questions for you.

The last time you received service from someone how was it?

If you received bad service, did you write a letter of complaint?

If the service was good or great, did you write a complimentary letter?

Most people will only write a letter to management complaining about the service.

Occasionally someone will take the time to write a letter praising the service they received when it was good.

I think a lot of us have forgotten how good it feels when we or our bosses get a letter praising our work.

The following letter is an example of a person taking the time to compliment someone.

For obvious reasons I have removed the letterhead, author's name and signature but the letter is real.

Harrah's Reno Sr, Management Guest Services
Harrah's Steak House Management 219 N. Center Street
Reno, NY 89501
May 12, 2009

To Whom It May Concern:

My wife and I were guests of Harrah's Hotel Casino May 10th, 2009, and I want to take time in acknowledging two of your outstanding employees who have left a tremendous impression on my wife and myself with their excellent customer service.

Mr. Tyler Wagner, Guest Services Representative at Harrah's registration counter was the first person we had met in wanting to find out if rooms were available for the night. It being Mother's Day, I had taken my wife on a nice Sunday drive for a chance to get away from our business, which we work an average of 14 hours a day.

I explained to Tyler while driving we find ourselves pointed into the direction of the mountains to the east from Stockton, Ca. As we started to see snow in the far distance we decided to travel a bit further. Before we knew it we found ourselves driving down Virginia St of Reno, Nevada. With the day almost over, and the ride back was further than we wanted to travel.

Tyler Wagner kind inquiry asked us, " When was the last time you were here in Harrah's Reno?" My response was over 25 years ago that I could remember when we also visited the Harrah's car collection.

Tyler Wagner then asked, "Well, we hope it doesn't take you that long to come back and visit us again next time." I asked him, "Well, how could you help me decide to want to come back?" Tyler responded after looking up my Harrah's Reward card said, "Well Mr ---------- I can offer you a nice room at no charge as our guest." Actually a very nice room on the 15th floor with a great view." Also just to let you know that we have the finest restaurant in the city here called the "Steak House,” just down stairs in this building, which has won many awards in Reno for their steaks."

I was speechless to be honest with you; with Tyler’s kind demeanor and professional customer service my wife and I felt special to be treated like this. We took him up on the room took our bag upstairs and did some gambling for several hours before we got hungry. That is when we decided to take Tyler's suggestion and walk down to the "Steak House" where we met John Thomas Dining Room Captain.

The professional atmosphere and the care to detail on how Mr. John Thomas wanted to take care of our comfort and service needs in wanting to provide us with a world class meal on Mother's Day for my wife was exceptional.

He took interest in us as to where we were from, to what brought us to the "Steak House". We told him Tyler Wagner; their Guest Services Rep referred us to the restaurant. John Thomas or “J. T." as he introduced himself to us was just as professional in his customer service skills as Tyler Wagner.

John Thomas mentioned to us if you ever come back give me a call and we'll make sure to make a reservation for you, and our team will be glad to take care of you.

None of these two gentlemen knew of my background and whom I do business with, and yet they treated my wife and I like we were the most important people in the building.

As a business owner myself of 4 Karate schools with over 1000 students, a Past Executive Vice President of the USA National Karate.do Federation, member of the USA Olympic Committee, and the current Sr. National Coordinator for Traditional Japanese Okinawan Karate for Disneyland Martial Arts Festivals in Anaheim, Ca., and for the Disney Martial Arts Festivals at the Walt Disney's World's Wide World of Sports Complex: in Orlando, Florida I can recognize good people.

I have worked with the management employees at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, NV with the US Junior Olympics and the US Open International Karate Championships in the past years held every Easter weekend. I have been privileged to meet some very' fine employees there also.

Through all of the interactions that I have with the many employees of my organization, Disney, and the members of the United States Olympic Committee Staff I have to take the time to acknowledge that Harrah's management can take great pride in the training, and the selection of these two particular employees.

They have both made me look at a possible opportunity of bringing a very large Martial Arts event to your facility in Reno if you have the accommodations in the way of a convention room large enough for 6-8 tatami mats which are 33'x33' and could provide seating for at least a 1000 spectators.

Hopefully I will have this opportunity to work with others in your organization that can help us make this event a possibility in 2010 or 2011.


Sincerely

------------- -------------

That is a nice letter don't you think? We all should send letters like that when we encounter great service.

Oh and by the way, for those readers who don't know me, the Tyler Wagner mentioned in the letter is my son.



I had to share.

The Stupids

OK at what age do you kick them out of the house?

Actually I'm not sure if there is a correct answer as I know someone who is in their 50's and still living at home and not working to boot.

The following story is an example of a Dad who is double stupid.

First because his 28-year-old son lives rent free in the basement of the parents' home and second because he called 911 because the 28-year-old son, who's a school board member in the Cleveland suburb of Bedford, would not clean his room.

He also complained to 911 that his son also threw a plate of food across the kitchen table and made a fist at him when told to clean his room.

When the police arrived the 28-year-old son was crying and screaming like a little baby.

But rest easy, it appears the police did their job as the father declined to press charges and told police he doesn't want to ruin his son's political career.

Oh and the son, who also works as a political consultant, said he's lucky to be living in the house rent free. He also promises to keep his room clean.

Intelligence is breaking out all over!!!



Speaking of a tight knit family:

Ohio family feud leads to dueling candy stores.

Man if you live in Ohio and have a sweet tooth this could be a good thing.

GRANVILLE, Ohio -Brothers from an Ohio candy-making family are opening shops 100 feet apart in what the owner of a business in between calls "the Battle of the Bonbons."

The feud began last year when their mother put George Goumas — the eldest brother — in charge of Goumas Candyland.

In December, police were called and Socrates and Greg Goumas, the two brothers who had run the business for years, were ordered to leave one of the family's stores.

Socrates and Greg plan to open their own shop in Granville where George has also decided to open a store. Socrates calls it a copycat move, while George says their father always wanted a location in Granville, about 30 miles northeast of Columbus.

Socrates and Greg, obviously your mom always did like George better!!



Speaking of a sweet tooth and stupid people, did you see this one?

Sweet-talker uses fake coin for ice cream

LYKENS, Pa. - State Police are looking for a man they say sweet-talked a shop owner into accepting a fake $20 coin as payment for ice cream.

Police said the man told the proprietor of Willow Tree Ice Cream on Friday evening that the coin was something the government has just begun issuing.

OK I want to know why the police are looking for the man that bought the ice cream?
They should arrest the shop owner (not a young employee) for being so stupid he would believe that story.

Of course if being stupid was against the law, our jails and prisons all combined are too small to house that population.


Stupid is in these days, case in point:

Glass water bowl and sun start fire at Washington home

BELLEVUE, Wash. -Fire officials in Washington state said a sunny day and a dog's glass water bowl combined to cause a blaze that charred the back of a home.

Investigators determined the glass bowl of water focused sunlight enough to act like a magnifying glass and start the fire on the home's wood deck Sunday.

Damage is estimated at $215,000.

I bet they are so stupid after the repairs they will put a metal bowl full of water in the sun for the dog.

Hello, they deserved the fire, but how stupid they put water for their dog in the sun and they expect the dog won't burn his mouth if he drinks from it? Geezzzz...


Never cheat on your wife or even lead her to believe you did because she will never forget:

LYNNWOOD, Wash. -A 78-year-old woman arrested last month for allegedly beating her 84-year-old husband because she believed he cheated on her several times during their marriage was charged Thursday with assault.

Prosecutors said she hit him with a bowl, pipe and carpet sweeper. He suffered broken ribs, pelvis and a wrist.

One witness told police the woman admitted kicking her husband three times in the groin in the last six months because she believed he had an affair 35 years ago. The woman was jailed on $70,000 bail.

She kicked her husband three times in the groin in the last six months but at 84, possibly with dementia setting in, he may have thought that was just rough sex.

They walk among us.

Will Jack Be Back?

Last night was the night it all ended one way or another.

By the time you read this post everything will have been answered.

Either Jack will die from his exposure to the pathogen, for which there is no known cure, or miraculously a cure will be found just in the nick of time for Jack to be cured and finally get to sleep after a jam packed 24 hours when he couldn't even work in a nap.

Prior to today, in the last 22 hours, only 378 people have died.

One can only hope that Olivia, the daughter of President Allison Taylor, and Kim, the daughter of Jack, are added to the number of people that die this season.

Oh yeah, let's hope Janis Gold dies with them as she is obnoxious. Besides Chloe O'Brian can handle the job just fine thank you very much and, if not, she can call on her husband Morris O'Brian for assistance.

I hope that stupid President Taylor has to resign for being so stupid allowing her daughter access to secret documents as well.

I wish I could have Chloe or Morris take a look at my computer to make it run a little faster.

There are a lot of loose ends to tie up in a very little time, so I suspect Jack will be very busy.

The bad thing about the season ending is T.V. will be boring.

The good news is we don't have to endure their stupid green energy commercials they run.

I like this one better:



If 24 comes back next season and Jack is alive, he will probably be in charge of the construction of a new bunker to house the Vice President in case of an emergency thanks to Joe Biden.

Biden gave an interview to Newsweek and he talks about the secret bunker. He said, a young naval officer gave him a tour of the residence and showed him the hideaway which is behind a massive steel door secured by an elaborate lock with a narrow connecting hallway lined with shelves filled with communications equipment.

The bunker, to be used in times of a national emergency, was secretly built into the official Vice President's residence at the Naval Observatory in Washington.

There might not be a reason to worry though. I'm sure the bad guys are not smart enough to read Newsweek.

Off Again

Well the best laid plans got changed. I received a call yesterday and had to work the 4p.m. to midnight shift so I didn't have time to write a post for today.

It's good though because I must be doing something right or I wouldn't get the call.

Oh, while I am at it I will be working the same shift Saturday and Sunday so there will not be a post Monday either.

Have a great weekend.

A Little Bit Of That

From my fair and balanced reporting:

OK I knew I had a lot of readers out there but never realized just how many.

You may remember my post May 6th about American Idol finalist Danny Gokey shilling for LensCrafters.

Well someone at LensCrafters must have read my blog and issued a press release.

LensCrafters says it isn't giving Danny Gokey free eyewear.

Don't look at us, LensCrafters is saying. A rep said that Gokey is not on its payroll and that he is in no way affiliated with the company.

Its current ad campaign made its debut April 19, and marketers at the company noticed a few days later that Gokey was flashing its central symbol. LensCrafters has never given him free glasses either.

I don't know if you noticed last week Gokey didn't flash heart-from-fingers gesture.

Maybe Idol bosses told him to stop.

This week when he flashed the heart sign he promptly got a warning from Ryan Seacrest.

It also seems a little odd that Lenscrafters felt the need to release a statement denying any association.

I'm just saying.

In any case I underestimated the power of my blog.


Do you know?

What famous North American landmark is constantly
moving backward?

Niagara Falls (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)

When it's not frozen that is.

What are the fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar?

I can name them, I just don't know where to put them.

They are, period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

Bet you had trouble naming more than seven.



Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh is Lettuce.

I suspect this has to do with the rabbits' union making sure lettuce is fresh.


How many of you have seen the flyers taped to a post when someone has lost a dog or a cat?

I'm walking down the street the other day and I saw the following flyer:


I know many of you are saying I sure hope they find that cat.

Did your brain play tricks on you making you feel bad the cat was lost?

Take another look at the flyer and notice it does not say anything about the cat being lost.

It appears that someone just thinks their cat is awesome and just wondered if you had seen it.


Speaking of flyers:

The wife, Vicki, brought home a flyer from church advertising a fundraiser.

I'm not quite sure how to take it. What is your opinion?

It read:

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

I'm hiding that day.


Today seams like a perfect time for a great quote from one of the best Non-Steroid-Era baseball players of all time.

"It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course."
~~ Hank Aaron

Todays Sports Role Models

Interesting times around the sports world.

Manny Ramirez got busted for illegal drugs and blamed his doctor.

Ramirez tested positive for HCG, a women's fertility drug often used to mask steroid use.

Manny didn't take the blame, rather he blames the doctor but as of yet he hasn't filed suit. Hmmmmmm

So-called fans just don't get it:

Let's hope for Manny's sake he doesn't get pregnant using HCG, the women's fertility drug.

Golden boy Alex Rodriguez admitted taking steroids which now may go back to his high school days or we may find out it started in Little League.

He returned to the Yankees and was welcomed back with open arms.

Jacqueline Standley, the mother of pitcher Joba Chamberlain, is arrested on suspicion of selling methamphetamine to an undercover policeman.

My comment on the Joba story is "Don't judge folks by their relatives."


This weekend Jeremy Mayfield became the first Sprint Cup Series driver suspended indefinitely under the tougher random drug testing policy instituted this year.

Two other crew members from other teams also tested positive, bringing the total to five suspensions in the first four months of the season.

The irony of the Mayfield suspension is, Mayfield fired one of his crew members, Paul Chodora, in February when Chodora became the first person suspended under the new testing policy.

Maybe he figured NASCAR would not test him for a while since he fired one of his crew members for failing the drug test.

There have been reports it was an allergy drug, possibly Claritin-D -- which is a NASCAR team sponsor for another team.

And Mayfield, who hasn't spoken with reporters yet, alluded to that in a statement he issued Saturday.

"In my case, I believe that the combination of a prescribed medicine and an over-the-counter medicine reacted together and resulted in a positive drug test," Mayfield said.

Oh Oh another one blaming the doctor - a prescribed medicine and an over-the-counter medicine reacted together.

Actually,while it isn't illegal, Claritin-D is on the list of banned substances.

Hmmmmm wonder if he missed that part in the handout?

Oh and what are some NASCAR fans saying, Claritin-D?

"Are you kidding me? I guess I am too "old school" or maybe just too old. What the hell is wrong with taking Clariton-D?"

Richard Gasquet to Dispute Positive Test For Cocaine

French tennis player Richard Gasquet has acknowledged he's been told he tested positive for cocaine but says he's innocent.

"I am gathering together proof of my innocence and I will choose an appropriate moment to express myself," Gasquet said in a statement Sunday.

Yeah, failed the "A" test and the "B" test for Cocaine.

I bet it entered his blood stream from cash he was given in exchange for the orange juice he bought the morning of the test.


PGA Commissioner Tim Finchem suspended Daly for the first six months of the 2009 season.

October 26th, 2008 - John Daly Goes to Hooters, Gets So Drunk Cops Take Him to Jail to Sober Up

Police officers were called at 2:17 a.m. to the Hooters at 120 Hanes Square Circle on a medical call. When officers arrived, Daly, who had earlier lost consciousness, was being treated by EMS.

Daly "appeared extremely intoxicated and uncooperative," police stated in a news release. Daly repeatedly refused to be escorted to the hospital and was eventually asked to leave the restaurant by workers there.



Reggie Williams Pleads Guilty to Cocaine Possession Charge


Back in April, former Jacksonville wide receiver Reggie Williams was tasered and arrested in Houston, then charged with felony drug possession after police found cocaine in his pocket.

He has had multiple run-ins with the law, though -- including a possession of marijuana charge that was dismissed earlier in 2009.

Williams is just 25 years of age, and has 189 catches for 2,322 yards in his five-season NFL career. They say his constant legal troubles may be more than a team wants to deal with.

Yeah right, as soon as the NFL slightly penalizes him just watch some NFL team pick him up.

I guess it's just me but I happen to think we put athletes on a pedestal making them above rules and laws all under the guise of entertainment.

I think their parents forgot to tell them one simple rule in life - Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.


Tonight is another night shift so there will be no new post tomorrow.

Another Monday

Sunday was Mother's Day and though my mother is only with me in my memories, the following article made me smile and think of both my mom and dad.

The way it once was and the way it should be now, but alas as with all good things they must end. Or so I'm told.


Here is a story about what a family did for their mom on her birthday that I think is neat.

Family marks mom's 85th birthday with daffodils

CANDOR, N.Y. -They said it with flowers. Joy Zamoiski's children wanted to do something special for her 85th birthday, so they planted thousands of daffodil bulbs last year.
The flowers bloomed in time for her birthday last month. The yellow and white daffodils were planted so that when they came up, they would spell out Zamoiski's first name.

Good they didn't try to spell the last name.

Today's post is short for I worked last night and didn't want to spend my day hours working on my post.

Udder Fantasy On Friday

A couple of days ago a childhood friend and I were sitting around reminiscing about the good old days.

The good old days where we are from had farms with lots of cows.

As our conversation turned to the cows he was reminding me of something I had forgotten.

I know a lot of my readers are city folk so I thought what the heck I would share a little farm information we were discussing with you.

I'm sure most of you think your milk comes from Albertsons, Smiths, Winn Dixie, Von's or your favorite Grocery store.

Well that is sort of true. Actually it originates from an animal called a cow and is delivered to the store in a container.

Legend has it milk was discovered by a cowboy that was on a long lonely cattle drive.

As the story goes, and remember this has been passed down from generation to generation, the cowboy had been out on the long, really lonely cattle drive for several months.

One night as the cowboy was walking through the herd of cattle, a slight breeze was blowing making a musical sound, the skies were clear, the stars were all aglow, the campfire was crackling and the moon was full. He was scanning the herd looking for her.

As he looked over the herd, she was there standing on a little knoll, looking all around until all of a sudden the world stopped as their eyes met.

On the drive he had noticed her many times before but had never had the nerve to speak to her. But tonight under a full moon, as the stars were twinkling, he made his way to her side.

At first he made small talk to her about the cattle drive and how he had been noticing her, then as she let her guard down he put his arm around her and started sweet talking to her.

The night air with the full moon, the twinkling stars, and the wind making music, the cowboy thought the time was right.

He had seen a lot of cows in his time but none with the size udder this cow had.


He began to make his move, he slowly, tactfully started caressing her all the while gently moving his hand towards the intended target.

As he was softly caressing her, she began to moo longer and louder letting him know she was enjoying all of the attention.

Finally he could stand it no longer. He made his move and reached down and grabbed one of the teats on her udder.

That is where it all started. Much to the cowboy's amazement when he grasped the teat of the cow's udder, out shot a stream of milk.

As the story continues, since milk had not been invented yet, the cowboy was so startled at what had happened, he ran as fast as he could to where his horse was tethered, threw on its saddle and on that starry starry night under a full moon rode off like the wind never to herd cattle again.

It is told that the cowboy rode day and night away from the herd until his horse could go no further without food and water.

The cowboy was forced to stop for the night in a little dirty dusty border town to tend to his only mode of transportation.

While the horse was at the stable resting, eating and getting its fill of water, the cowboy was at the saloon getting his fill of whisky.

It was then that the drunken cowboy confessed to the barkeep what had occurred on the range and thus the legend began.

The story has a happy ending for the cowboy. As legend has it, he became a sheep herder and lived happily ever after.

Now that you know the background of how it was discovered, let's get back to my story about milk.

Take a close look at the bag on the lower back side of the cow in the picture.

That is the udder which houses 4 teats.

In the beginning no one was quite sure why there were 4 teats. All they knew was each teat had a different product.

Then one day an entrepreneur came up with names for the different tastes and, as they say, the rest is history.

One teat produces milk, one produces buttermilk, one produces cream and the last one produces half and half.

This worked very well for several years until California became a state in 1850.

The people that settled in California had completely different ideas than the rest of the United States and soon were demanding their milk to be different than what normal people enjoyed.

After receiving a government grant, the cow owners commissioned a study to figure out how to pacify the people in California.

The study determined the mature cows that were a little more full bodied produced the milk, buttermilk, cream, and half and half as everyone knew it.

They also learned that low fat, non fat, two percent and skim could be obtained the same way from the udders if it was from younger skinny cows.

Now you understand why sprouts and green vegetables are the 'in' thing to eat in California as it all started to keep the cows skinny.

The Californians soon learned that the udders on the skinny cows seemed to be smaller than on the full bodied cows and soon they were studying ways to have the local veterinarians use silicone to enlarge the cows udders.

And now you know how it all began.

That's the story my friend and I were discussing about the old days which goes to show you that older people need to share their knowledge with others, or as in this case you would think milk came from your local store.

I Follow Instructions

Is stupidity inherited or is it taught?

I wanted some dessert the other night so off to the store and I picked up a box of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert.

When I got it home I ended up throwing it away because I turned it over and printed on bottom of the box it said "Do not turn upside down."

I guess that ruins it so I didn't take any chances.

While at the store I noticed Frito Lay was having a give-away so I checked out their promotional offer.

On the bags of Fritos it said, "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

As the store manager was escorting me from the store for ripping open all the bags of Fritos, it was obvious I was not going to be a winner.

While I was at the store I picked up some grapes. Once home I read the label on them and felt I was safe with their instructions.

It said, "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator."

Lucky enough, just last week, I moved a thermometer all around my refrigerator to make sure I didn't have any hot sections in there.

I was feeling kind of hungry so I got out a Swann frozen dinner from the freezer.

I was not sure how I should serve it so I read the instructions which said " Serving suggestion: Defrost."

Yeah, defrosted sounded kind of good to me too.

I thought a bottle of my favorite flavored milk drink would go well with dinner.

After reading the instructions, "After opening, keep upright" and alas having no straws in the house, I decided I couldn't have milk.

I needed something to drink so I grabbed my favorite soft drink and read the instructions which said "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth."

At last something I could drink.

For dessert I was debating between Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding or Pop-Tarts.

The instructions on them were very similar, the bread pudding said, "Product will be hot after heating," and the Pop Tarts said "Warning: Pastry Filling May Be Hot When Heated."

Just to be safe I opted to eat a cold Pop-Tart.

I happen to be big on dessert so I figured I should have a Fruit Roll-up after the Pop Tart.

I was pretty anxious so I bit into it before reading the instructions.

It was a little chewy and in hindsight I think if I had read the instructions, "Peel fruit from cellophane before eating," it may have been easier to eat.

Well, The Fruit roll-up wasn't enough to fill the void so I figured what the heck I might as well have some peanuts.

I have to say, it was a very large bag of peanuts and even though I only wanted a small handful, based on the instructions on the package, " Open packet and eat contents," I ended up eating the entire contents of that 1 pound bag of peanuts.

After eating all that food I figured I had better throw a couple of breath savers in my mouth.

As I was opening them I noticed their statement on the pack which read "Not for weight control."

I was really happy to read that because I was worried about my breath not my weight, as you can tell from all the food I had eaten.

After dinner I thought a game of Yahtzee would be a nice way to spend the evening.

I had picked up a new set of dice for the game and just to be safe before opening I read their label.

Their label read "Not for human consumption." At this point I was so full I was relieved to read that.

All good things come to an end as it was time to go to bed.

I really was able to get a good night's sleep that night.

I was able to sleep soundly with the knowledge I did not have to worry about the police busting in and arresting me for removing the tag from my pillow.

I follow instructions and the tag is still there.

Sad And Bad

Lately the obituaries have had a lot of famous names leaving us.

One of my favorites was Dom DeLuise.

I liked him not only for his silly humor, but also for the fact he liked to and knew how to cook.

I relate to him because I felt that rather than being a chef, he was just a guy who liked to cook.

Of course, he really knew how to cook.

He had a great quote about food:

I think I was immediately fed, so food became a very important part of my life.
Dom DeLuise
Thanks for the memories.

OK moving on, let's talk about the television show American Idol.

I don't know how many of my readers watch American Idol but based on the numbers they claim for viewers and the number of readers I claim to have, there must be quite a few of you.

Let's see how closely you have been paying attention to the contestants.

This, my friends, could be bigger than the payola scandal that hit the broadcasting industry in the early 1960s. Many of you may remember Albert James "Alan" Freed, also known as Moondog, who's career was destroyed by the payola scandal that hit the broadcasting industry in the early 1960s.

As popular as American Idol is, you have to believe there are companies out there that are more than willing to have a performer hawk their products in a way that the Idol production company is unaware of.

Have you noticed Danny Gokey wears a different pair of flashy glasses every week?

Think about this - Danny Gokey is a Wisconsin church music minister.

Maybe I am wrong, but I would assume that job doesn't pay enough to spend your hard earned cash on that many pair of glasses.

For those of you that have glasses, look around and check out how many pair of your current prescription glasses you have at one time.

American Idol is not furnishing the glasses because they would require a sponsor for product placements.

The contestants are under an exclusive contract to Idol so they are not allowed to accept money and endorse any products not contracted through Idol.

I know right about now you are thinking that just happens to be his metro sexual side and he has a fetish for glasses.

Well that could be the case but I wonder how many of you have also noticed the heart shape he makes with his hands after every performance.

Most believe that heart shape with his hands is merely a shout-out to his wife, who died at age 27 less than a year ago.

I ask you, are those two things just a coincidence or a carefully orchestrated subliminal advertisement that he is being paid to do?

OK right about now all of you Danny Gokey and Idol fans are screaming at my blog asking how could I suggest such a thing.

Well fans, it is easy.

I would like you to become the fifth American Idol judge. Click here, take a look at the Lenscrafters commercial, and let me know if you think his actions are coincidence or contrived.

Monday Sleaze

OK, last year there was a calendar of the Mormon missionaries for all the ladies out there.

This year there is one for the guys, and I understand that based on pre-orders, they have had to quadruple their production.


Sexy Mormon Moms

When it comes to sexy religions, Mormons have been eating the dust of Catholic schoolgirls for too long.

Now, hot Mormon moms are posing in sexy shots for a calendar to be released in June.



Chad Hardy, founder of Mormons Exposed, is the calendar's publisher. "It's very sexy, but at the same time it's so cute," Hardy said of the 2010 calendar which features the Mormon MILFs alongside muffin recipes.

Those are some nice muffins. The Mormons really known how to get busy in a kitchen.

I think the guys are buying it for the recipes.



A friend of mine attended a wedding the other day and told me he had never seen anything like it.



He said the maid of honor was doing all she could to convince the bride not to marry the groom.

It seems the maid of honor and the bride were very very close.



Thanks to television and school teachers, what an early age kids are getting sex education these days.



Wow, when I was that age all I thought about riding was my bicycle.


So I'm driving down the highway the other day and I spotted a billboard that is a real example of truth in advertising:


I went past that sign 30 or 40 times last week just to see what they are going to advertise there.



Yeah, yeah, I know today's post is a little sleazy but it's all about showing a smile:



Now show us your smile.


Update for the blog today is another one of those til midnight work days so there will be no post tomorrow.