The Week That Was

What a week!

Monday, the wife Vicki gets sick and starts staggering around like a sailor on a 3-day liberty.

This has not been good, so she finally went to the doctor and found she has fluid on her inner ear causing her to be dizzy.

In the meantime, that meant I had to get my own ice tea, put my slippers on myself, turn the TV on and push the buttons to find a program to watch, walk to the mail box and get the mail, step out the front door and get the paper, adjust the air conditioner, give the dogs food and water, make the bed, grocery shop, vacuum the carpet, take out the trash, answer the phone, turn down my own bed and put my chocolate candy on the pillow, and numerous other household chores.

Man, that medicine better work fast. I'm not supposed to do all that kind of work.


Did you see the news?

Illinois Remains Are Not Stacy Peterson's

Testing done on the remains showed they belonged to a male, police said.

Could it be they have finally found Jimmy Hoffa?


What is it about the service at fast food joints?

Ore. man calls 911 over orange juice at McDonald's

An Oregon man spent Memorial Day in jail after calling 911 to complain that a McDonald's worker was rude and didn't give him an orange juice he ordered.

A McDonald's employee also called 911 during the incident, complaining that the man and the people with him were blocking the drive-thru lane and knocking on the restaurant windows.

Intelligence the final frontier.


I wonder how many of you know the history on why 911 is called nine one one?

On the very first test market back east the number was advertised as nine eleven.

The test markets local police departments normal switch board was jammed by calls from area residents complaining they would be unable to place an emergency call with that number.

They complained they did not think they should have to buy new phones because their phone only went to nine and did not have a ten or an eleven on it.

The implementation of the nine eleven number was delayed for months until they flooded the market with advertising using the words one one.


When you get mad, choose your words carefully:

Conn. woman bitten after 'bite me' remark

An analyst at the Connecticut Police Academy says a co-worker responded literally to her "bite me" remark and chomped on her. Former Waterbury police Capt. Francis Woodruff was charged Tuesday with disorderly conduct.

Wyler's complaint alleges Woodruff was annoying her by calling her a clerk. She says she responded with "bite me" — and he did.

Hmmm, a man that follows a woman's instructions - he must be married.


The French are being French again?

French snub British queen, then shrug off uproar
France failed to invite Queen Elizabeth II to Normandy for next week's 65th anniversary of the Allied landings on D-Day.

The diplomatic faux-pas prompted uproar in Britain, which lost thousands at Normandy and across France while helping free the country from the Nazis.

"I don't get it, personally," said Guy Briand, browsing the morning papers on a park bench just off the Champs-Elysees, in the shadow of a bronze memorial statue of Sir Winston Churchill. "If she comes or not, it's her problem."

If England and the United States had not come, the citizens of France would have been speaking German with a French accent.

Do you know in France they sell survival kits to every citizen in case of an emergency? The kit consists of a white flag.

France's only claim to fame was inventing French Fries and Mc Donalds had to perfect that.

Many think the French invented the French kiss but in fact that was invented by an American G.I.

It was D-Day when the American forces were liberating France and an American G.I. was being kissed by a French woman. During his haste to leave and liberate more of the French his tongue touched hers.

Excitedly she kept him in her grasp as long as she could, then when their lips parted and she had never been kissed like that she queried, "What was that?"

"You are French," he shouted "and you kissed me, so it was a French kiss."

And so the French kiss was born.


How's this for a happy ending?

Old Lotto Ticket Is A Big Winner

An Australian woman thought she might help her family by scraping together some cash from old lottery tickets. She had no idea one of the tickets was worth $10 million, solving a jackpot mystery that has confounded Australia for months.

Always like that kind of story.

And the week ends.