Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Brother Bob

What a great weekend this was as my brother Bob came in Friday from Saint George, Utah for one of his famous short visits. He left for home mid afternoon Monday.

Since the passing of Bob's wife Linda, brother Bob has taken the the lead in us connecting as brothers do and I for one am enjoying it. As I sit having conversation with Bob I can't help but stare as I realize he looks so much like our dad it is uncanny.

Interestingly when we are together it reminds me of duo's like the Smothers Brothers, Rowen and Martin or maybe Abbott and Costello, of course I am the funny one he is the straight man.
It's fun working on our act for Vicki (who rolls her eyes in hysterics, I think that's why she rolls them)and the clerks in the stores who appear to enjoy it, even though the younger ones don't always understand the humor, but that won't stop us.

I will say, even though I am the younger one, he makes me tired just watching him in action as he is in high speed mode most of the time.

Thank you brother Bob for another great visit but hurry back because the bushes need a good trimming, windows need washing and the garage needs cleaning. I will sit in the shade sipping on my ice tea, polish my supervisory skills and of course keep you laughing while you work. A happy worker is a hard worker.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Ripped from the headlines:

Strippers Reportedly File Oil Spill Compensation Claim; Pay Czar 'Dubious'
the Mimosa Dancing Girls adult entertainment club filed a compensation claim for lost business under the $20 billion gulf oil spill escrow fund that the Obama administration conceived and BP agreed to last week.

But today, the government-appointed administrator of the fund, pay czar Kenneth Feinberg, expressed his doubt that the claim was legitimate.
"I'm dubious about that claim. I'm very dubious about that claim," Feinberg told "Good Morning America." "But I don't want to prejudge any individual claim, and I think we will study this.

Can you say BP unlimited credit card to study these claims?

I'll give him props for wanting to study it, I mean what kind of idiot would not want to study this claim?

He already has prejudged this by being dubious.
He should frequent the establishment several times, at least 30 or 40,and observe how big the crowds are then do in depth interviews with each girl to find out if the denomination of the bills has changed downward.

Have them give demonstrations of exactly how they earn their salaries.

If they are going to pay claims for lack of business they should not discriminate based on the type of business effected.

Those girls probably have the most legitimate claim of anybody and they are entitled too ya know!!!



This Brew is not for you!


Lesson #1 when down to the last 6 pack head to the store don't chance having only 1 can left:

Woman Brawled With Boyfriend Over Last Beer.

The Florida woman spent two nights in jail for allegedly roughing up her boyfriend after he started drinking the last can of beer.

Elizabeth Breeden, 41, "went off" on her 53-year-old boyfriend when he opened their last can of Natural Light After scuffling over the beer, Breeden reportedly ripped the can in half, spilling the prized brew on her beau, a chair and the floor.

When her boyfriend stood up, Breeden is accused of slapping him in the face and kicking him in the groin.

She was charged with domestic battery.

She ripped the can in half and kicked him where? Wow i didn't know Natural Light was that good.

Natural Light is brewed to be enjoyed responsibly by adults. © 2010 Anheuser- Busch, Inc., Brewer of Natural Light® Beer, St. Louis, MO.


Burning Ring Of Fire.

Seems like Al Gore visited Portland Oregon and due to the global warming there, he had some hot flashes (a little lower please) while getting a massage.

Needless to say he had the wrong masseuse and he did not get the "Happy Ending" massage he demanded.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Fatherhood For Dummies

Imagine the day after Fathers Day you find out what a terrible dad you were to your children. Well that just happened to me as someone pointed out the web site Fatherhood.Gov

Fatherhood.Gov is the government giving tips on how to be a dad.

Here is a good tip; Bike or walk to a park, trail, or other outdoor spot. Leaving the car at home will reduce carbon emissions and you will add exercise to your day without even trying.

Had I known how to be a good dad I would have suggested we walk to Mount Charleston Mountain that was just 40 miles one way from our house. I'm sure Stacey and Tyler would at that very moment said to me "what a good dad you are".

One other tip to being a good father: Tip, turn off the water when you brush your teeth in the morning and before bed time. You can save 8 gallons of water.

Just think, had I turned the water off when we were all brushing our teeth together they could have been nuclear physicist or the president of the United States by now. I guess having them brush after each meal in addition to in the morning and at bed time was a bad idea as well I hope they are not having nightmares over that.

Yet Another tip I completely messed up on; Tip, many electronic devices use electricity even when thy are switched off or not in use. You can save money and energy by unplugging the items when they are not being used.

I sure hope my kids don't have to go to a shrink on a regular basis to get over the trauma they suffered.

I'm not sure how happy Vicki would have been when the microwave, TV, all the clocks were off and when plugged back in were blinking but maybe there is a Marriage.Gov site that covers that issue.

I guess I was a bad dad for playing catch, board games, basketball, card games, watching movies together, camping, water guns etc. you know those silly things when I should have shown them how to unplug usless appliances, brush their teeth and to forget we even had a car.

Man dads have it so easy nowadays they have the government telling them how to be a dad.I'm really glad our government used our tax dollars wisely for that site.

I sure hope Vic made Kool-aid today I think I need some after this discovery.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Written by my son Tyler

Asleep at the Wheel

It was a cold night in December, camber surface I remember, amber fog and bogs of rain, maintained to stain my cloudy brain. Sustained relentless specks of snow flowed on and on and grew to grow, into a show of snowy white, while I drove home this sleepless night.

No flight for me, agreed to drive, with pride and presents I’d arrive, at 5 a.m. that winter’s morn, an ornament of mental worn. I’d sworn to make it home alright, “No Worries All,” I’d said contrite, excited by Vacation’s call, recall the trek and deck the halls.

But all was not good on that drive, deprived of sleep, my dreams arrived, alive but riding without eyes to guide my sight, my night took five. Revived, I woke up suddenly, and saw no life in front of me, relieved to know I’d only dozed, but for how long, nobody knows.

The story goes and starts like this; I was a boy, a buoy of bliss, existing on and kept afloat, by a dear friend I always wrote. One note from her could blur my pain, and paint a scene that should be framed, refrain from saying too much more, about that time I did adore.

Before my trip could start that night, I’d got a call from her inviting me to greet for gifts and glee, while underneath a Christmas tree. Agreed to meet for just a few, I knew I had to go but threw away my watch to watch the time, submerged myself in the sublime.

So primed and ready for the trip, I sipped on Coke and choked down strips of peppered pizza on my lips, with dips of ranch, I ran the risk, of filling up too heavy for, the future freight that lay before, my forge of course once out the door, some dormant torment was in store.

A roar of laughter and farewells soon swelled the night and I compelled to leave their home, roam on my way, away from Reno I would stray. I sprayed and splashed myself with water, summoned human teeter totter, plotting ways in which to stay and pave the drive another day.

I’d say to anyone who’d ask, “Oh, I’ll be fine; I’ve got this task,” and then attacked the pitch black road, coasting along through postal codes. I rode along and flowed through songs, of Christmas spirit sing along, and before long my lips did meet, sweet Mountain Dew, I grew complete.

A feat of travel such as this, alone and late, brought reminisce, amiss while missing my friend Justin, since that July, I’d been adjusting, to his death, his breath was taken, a fate to never reawaken, forsaken but never forgotten, a lot of rain, a day of rotten.

While streams of sadness wet my mind, I found relief in the reminder that some merry time was here, the 25th had come this year. I cleared my head and sped along, my heater on and before long; I’d be at home amassed in masses, of Molasses, milk in glasses.

Lapsing in and out of thoughts, I sought to distance from distraught, I fought so hard to clear my head; perhaps I led myself to bed. I read the sign designed to show, how many miles left to go; the snow was matting the plateau, which mapped my final picture show.

Awoke to sounds of grinding tires, tired from a mind expired, mired in a dire slate; I took a trip, but stayed in State. My state of conscious was confused, how could I let myself refuse, the use of rest stop conversation, I wouldn’t rate my mood “elation.”

Placing patience with frustration, muttered to myself, “Awaken!” took a break and broke in sigh, so thankful that I didn’t die. My eyes were groggy, stunned; mind-boggled, bottled up my fear, full throttle, pottled puddles of some water, washed my eyes, guised dreams to slaughter.

Sauntered back out to the highway, hit the road unloading delay, deciding not to tell a soul of how I just lost all control. Strolling back into my motions, waves of relief sprayed like oceans, learning quite a big life lesson, rest thereof is of the essence.

Essentially, I’d made it halfway, Tonopah was in my pathway, pass three more hours, hit the hay, and say hello to a new day. “Just pay attention, tension free, please clean your mind from what it’d seen, redeem your strength and tough this out; erase the sprout of any doubt.”

I doubt I made it more than seconds, before my second reckoned wreckage, checked my conscience into sleep, the place I didn’t want to be. Before, my car just slid off road, out onto dirt, I woke and slowed, my cruising vehicle to stop, no sign of damage from a pop.

Hop forward to the present coasting, cruising 88 and toasting, posting up a record time, climbing out of clouded grime. Primed and ready for a break, a BK visit I would make, I made it to that very thought, before my sleepiness re-shot.

I fought a dream and surely lost, woke up in darkness, eyes were crossed, exhausted once but now awake; I scattered screams and slammed the brake. Waking up in such a fright, I lost the sight of wrong from right, ignited horror scorched my eyes, what happened next, I should have died.

I tried to turn my wheel and spin, into a circle and begin to stop my car from going deeper, drop my death from creeping steeper. Sleep had crept my way before, without a dent in either door, on fours; I thanked my lucky stars, for sparing me any more scars.

Farther on, my luck would change, my lease on life would rearrange, exchanged a few solemn goodbyes, as my car flipped into the night. In spite of shock I stayed alert, I clenched the wheel with palms of hurt, I hurled on through heartless dirt, I tasted desert for dessert.

Flirting with death, my breath stayed counting, “1 flip, 2 flip,” Angels mounting. “3 flip, 4 flip, still react, 5 flip, 6 flip, fade to black.”

................................

I reawaken in a ditch, with swollen eyes that need a stitch, an itchy breeze blows through my hair, I comb it down and drown in scare. Prepared to not survive the crash, I was alive, but head was mashed, my ashy hand now filled with blood, my skull was flooding from the thud.

I kicked the crud out of the windshield, unsealed a strength I never knew wield, I kneeled at once in real dismay, prayed for help and hoped for save. I braved the bitter cold and trudged, through all the snow and mounds of mud, befuddled, fumbling through the dark, “If there’s a light, oh won’t you spark?”

I walked a while and finally found, my feet were touching highway ground, the sound of heartbeat filled my ears, with pounding, pounding, POUNDING fear! While tears they trickled down my cheeks, I thought I’d never get to speak, or see my family once again, I’d bleed to death without a friend.

I bent and huddled to keep warm, and then at once, I saw a swarm, of big bright lights approaching me, my heart had never felt such glee. “Please help, come quick and rescue me. I’m freezing, bleeding violently. I need some aid and proper care, and hey, a change of underwear.”

The wary truck could see me waving, but he didn’t stop for saving, not brave enough, I guess, to stop, and with that all my hope was dropped. Truck number two came some time later, I jumped and waved now even greater, but once again, he passed on by, my eyes welled up and I asked, “Why?”

By the time the third truck came, I was defeated and so drained, but still I mustered up the strength to wave my limbs at longest length. To my delight, he slammed the brakes; he stopped the truck, began to make, his way to me and take a glance, and quickly called an ambulance.

At first glance of that stunning sight, I finally let go of the fright, for I had lived and was alright, and made it through my darkest night. They said “Sit tight,” and loaded me, onto an outstretched flesh gurney, and after that I said “Thank you,” my life was saved, my land brand new.

I knew it then, I know it now, it was my friend who saved somehow, allowed me to survive the plow and disallowed my final bow. But now, Justin, I bow to you, the Guardian Angel I look up to, Thank You for being there for me, I hope your view is Heavenly.

Written by Tyler Wagner

Monday, June 21, 2010

Wag's Return

Some of you have noticed I have finally decided to get back to writing my blog. To all of those that called, spoke or sent e mails encouraging me to return I thank you. To those that noticed I was back thank you as well.

I stopped writing for a variety of reasons some personal and then some of concerns about offending friends.

It seems the new trend is to call anyone who has an opinion and speaks it to be labeled as un American and racist to name a few.

The term "politically correct" completely escapes me as I don’t know who is the judge and jury on that one.

I’m too old to care about labels or politically correctness and I suspect my friends will know what is true about me, those that want to buy into labels and those that don’t know me don’t have to read this.

I don’t drink the Kool-Aid so from time to time I will speak out as I did on June 17th 2010 in my first post back since October.

This time back I don’t plan on writing every day so you will need to check in on a regular basis to see when I post. Also I don’t have an editor to correct all the mistakes with my grammar and proper punctuation so please excuse any errors you may find.

As always your comments are welcome and all comments good or bad will be posted as long as the language is “G” rated.

In closing I will leave you with the words that I heard the other day from John Adams, one of our country’s founding fathers, which inspired me to blog again.

John Adams said and I quote:

“Let us dare to read, think, speak and write”.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Harlan

His given first name was Harlan but very few people knew him by that.

Harlan was a Railway Express Agent for the Union Pacific Railroad stationed in the small railroad town of Moapa NV.

Harlan made the use of one name popular way before celebrities started doing it.

Harlan was known along the railroad from Omaha to LA and he never had to use his first or last name when he signed his work. The same applied when he corresponded to friends most of who did not know his first name..

Harlan was not a large man but he cast a long shadow.

Harlan was not a college educated man but was one of the wisest and smartest men I have ever known.

Harlan taught me about life by living life and letting me learn from observing. Who I am is because of who he was.

Harlan passed away in 1976 and not a day has gone by that he is not in my thoughts.

On This Fathers Day I am thinking of my dad Wag.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Wag's Ramblings

How's that Hope and Change working for you?

Did you catch Obama's speech regarding the disaster in the Gulf?

Obama: There's a pipe spewing gobs of oil into the gulf, so let's build more solar panels and windmills.

Two days after Hurricane Katrina President Bush waived the Jones act so foreign ships could work in our waters to render assistance and very few if any complaints were heard.

Immediately after the BP explosion 13 country's offered their help, some by sending huge skimmer ships to suck up the spill but Obama refused all of their help.

After 50 something days he still will not waive the Jones act which prohibits foreign ships from working in our waters.

Oh ya I forgot that's a Union thing.

It appears Obama's thought process is: This is an urgent situation we have underwater leaking pipe 40 miles off Louisiana that we haven't plugged and don't really understand how it broke in the first place so we need to immediately pass the Cap and Trade bill.

"Never Let a crisis go to waste"
Rahm Emanuel


The ruptured well is BP's fault, the oil reaching the beaches and wetlands is Obama's fault.

The Dutch offered to supply 4 oil skimmers. These are large arms that are attached to oil tankers that pump oil and water from the surface of the ocean into the tanker. Each system will collect 5,000 tons of oil each day. One ton of oil is about 7.3 barrels. 5,000 tons per day is 36,500 barrels per day. 4 skimmers have a capacity of 146,000 barrels per day. That is much greater than the high end estimate of the leak.

I repeat,Obama refused the skimmers!!!!!

I wonder if Obama will tell us he inherited this and it is Bush's fault?

Today, Jimmy Carter is secretly delighted.

Thanks to Mr. Obama, Carter is no longer considered the worst president in American history.