Bizzarre Friday

With all the famous deaths in the news, I thought today would be a good time to highlight a few others.

I'm sure all my readers know once a woman gets married, things change and she is in charge. This is nothing new - it happened way back in the times of Attila the Hun.

I wonder how many of you remember Attila the Hun from your history books in school?


Attila the Hun died on his wedding night. Hard to believe such a nice guy would die on his wedding night, don't you think?

He did, after all, die under mysterious circumstances.

Sometime after his marriage, Attila’s nose began to bleed excessively, and he died in a blood-loss induced trance.

Rumor has it his wife was displeased and smacked him in the nose.



Fast forward to 1923 and Frank Hayes.

Not a household name, huh? Well, Frank Hayes was a jockey.


Frank Hayes was a jockey who, in 1923, suffered a fatal heart attack in the midst of a race at Belmont Park in New York.

His horse, Sweet Kiss, finished and won the race with his lifeless body still atop, making him the first, and thus far, only jockey to win a race after death.

Belmont Park was the scene on June 4, 1923. Jockey F. Hayes, riding a sterling finish on Sweet Kiss, a famous steeplechaser, was stricken with heart failure as he charged into the stretch in the lead. To the spectators it appeared as if Hayes with victory assured, was hand-riding his mount in the closing stages, slumped as he was over the horse's neck. Sweet Kiss had hardly crossed the finish line, however, when Hayes toppled from the saddle. All rules were waved by the Jockey Club in this instance, the result being declared official without the customary formality of weighing in.

The New York Times reported that Hayes was an apprentice and "...the attack probably [was] brought on by severe training to make weight and the subsequent excitement of riding his first winner." The 22-year-old jockey was buried in his racing silks three days later.

Which proves the theory that the horse is actually much more important than the jockey.

Rumor is that Sweet Kiss was the mother to two other would-be racing horses but no jockey would ride them. They were named Dead On Arrival and Kiss Of Death.



Maybe more of you are familiar with Tennessee Williams.


Do you remember how he bought it?

Williams died on February 24, 1983. The famous writer died a ridiculously unnecessary death in the Hotel Elysee in New York City after choking on…no, not food…but on the cap to his eye drop bottle.

Williams liked to put the cap of the bottle in his mouth, tilt his head back, and drop the refreshing eye liquid in.

Rumor has it there was some alcohol involved prior to the eye treatment.



OK I am working up to the last two entries that I think are the best.

And now the runner up on ways to buy it:

Isadora Duncan

Duncan was one of fashion's most famous victims when in 1927, her signature long flowing scarves became entangled in the rotor of the car in which she was riding. She was pulled from her seat, and her neck was snapped as her body was dragged along the cobblestone street in France.

Those darn cobblestone streets.



Drum roll please..... and for the grand finale:

Felix Faure

Who was Felix Faure you ask? Felix Faure was president of France.

How do you think he bought it?

In 1895, he had the life literally sucked out of him.

He was in his presidential office receiving oral sex from an actress (not a secretary, as more contemporary presidents prefer) when he passed away.

Police at the scene were overheard saying "That's the way to go."

The police are always right.

Have a great weekend.

Yes, Michael Jackson Is Still Dead.

Ed McMahon died. He was a great entertainer, but prior to his stage accomplishments he was a distinguished Marine Corps fighter pilot in WWII earning six Air Medals and attaining the rank of Colonel. He was discharged in 1946 and was later promoted to the rank of Brigadier General in the CA Air National Guard.


Farrah Fawcett died after a long career in Hollywood as an actress. After she was diagnosed with cancer, she became an activist for cancer treatment and devoted her last remaining years encouraging people to seek treatment. She documented her plight on film and used it to encourage others to stay positive and upbeat despite their diagnosis and suffering.


Michael Jackson died. He was perhaps one of the greatest singers of modern time. He will also be remembered for his eccentric lifestyle that included sleeping with a chimpanzee, living in a carnival-like atmosphere at Neverland, his fascination with Peter Pan, and his numerous masks and costumes. He also admitted to finding pleasure sleeping with young boys and paying out millions of dollars in settlements to the families of these boys despite being acquitted by a court on one allegation of sexual molestation.


QUESTION - Which of the above did the House of Representatives declare a moment of silence for on Monday? (Hint - It wasn't the first two.)


QUESTION - Which of the above's family received a personal note of condolence from President Obama? (Hint - It wasn't the first two.)


NY Congressman Pete King had some interesting comments about Jackson. Please check them out here.



As some of you may know, Michael Jackson was paid a tidy sum as a deposit for his so-called European concerts.

Since he overdosed on drugs and died thus not fulfilling his part of the contract, that money has to be paid back.

Rumor on the street is, his estate will honor the contract and Michael Jackson will perform at all those concerts.

He won't be doing the moon walk at those sold out concerts, rather he will be laying there in his casket for his fans while the movie of his funeral is shown on large screens.

Now you know why he wasn't buried.

I also heard, with anticipation of grabbing a fast buck, Joe Jackson ordered 10 million Michael Jackson bobble head dolls from China.

Sources say, when the bobble head dolls arrived there was a small problem.

They say that when the heads bobbled the nose fell off.


Oh speaking of alleged pedophiles, I wonder how many of you are aware of a dangerous bill sitting in the U.S. Senate right now the So-Called 'Hate Crimes' Bill.

This bill will protect all 547 forms of sexual deviancy or "Paraphilias" listed by the American Psychiatric Association! This would provide a huge mass of "sacred cows" in our society, which includes pedophiles who would be given elevated protection -- giving "the offender" an additional decade behind bars.

Rep. Alcee Hastings (D-FL), who supports this bill, admitted that the bill would protect all 547 forms of sexual deviancy listed by the APA. Here's what Hastings said on the floor of the U.S. House itself:


'This bill addresses our resolve to end violence based on prejudice and to guarantee that all Americans regardless of race, color, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability or all of these "Philias" and fetishes and "isms" that were put forward need not live in fear because of who they are. I urge my colleagues to vote in favor of this rule.'

According to Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX): If this bill that the U.S. House passed isn't stopped in the Senate, here's what can happen,
If a mother hears that their child has been raped and she slaps the assailant with her purse, she is now gone after as a hate criminal because this is a protected class. There are other protected classes in here. I mean simple exhibitionism. I have female friends who have told me over the years that some guy flashed them, and their immediate reaction was to hit them with their purse. Well now, he's committed a misdemeanor, [and] she has committed a federal hate crime because the exhibitionism is protected under sexual orientation… You see someone spying on you changing clothes and you hit them -- they've committed a misdemeanor; you've committed a federal felony under this bill.


Rep. Steve King (R-IA) offered an amendment that was very simple: "The term sexual orientation as used in this act or any amendments to this act does not include pedophilia."

The majority Democrats refused to accept that amendment.

Ted Kennedy (D-MA) and Patrick Leahy (D-VT) have introduced the bill into the Senate. However, because of the OUTRAGE they're hearing from their constituents -- -- they're going to try to sneak it through by adding it as an amendment to a completely different bill... and Democrat Majority Leader Harry Reid has reaffirmed his plans to have the Senate vote on this dangerous bill before Congress' August recess!

But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

The Day The Circus Came To Town

OK already, Michael Jackson is dead.

For two weeks now all we hear is the sadness of Michael Jackson's passing and millions of people gathering to grieve.

Our country is in a mess and the most important thing seems to be the death of a many-times-alleged pedophile.

The King of Freak is dead which means allegedly there are some kids that can sleep more comfortably now.

I think I am the only one that has ever asked who those three kids that lived with him belong to.
No one has ever answered as to how they just somehow became his. I realize he used a lot of skin bleaching but not enough to produce blond-haired blue-eyed kids.

Sure Debbie Row claims to be the mother to two of them and says Michael ain't their daddy, but then where did the third kid come from?

Also, there were never any adoptions by him of any of the three.

This begs the question how the legal community allowed a several-time-alleged pedophile to have three kids that he had no legal right to living under his roof?

But now we are being told we must overlook the fact a several-time-alleged pedophile obtained three kids somehow to live with him and overlook a lot of other things he did.

Why? Because he sang some songs and sold a lot of records. The worst part is that is exactly what people are doing.

Is it any wonder this country is so screwed up?

But hey, the internet had its busiest day Saturday with people registering for tickets to the Circus at the Staples center in Los Angeles.



Tickets are free, but you'll have to be really lucky to get these tickets.

That's right, you'll have to be really lucky to get these tickets to witness the Superbowl of funerals for a many-time-alleged pedophile.

The one really great thing about this circus is that with the economy down and many small businesses closing, at least the small entrepreneurs selling tee shirts will do well.

There is a couple of other celebrity deaths that rumor has it the authorities are investigating how they may somehow be associated with Michael Jackson's death.

There is a rumor that the death of Michael Jackson caused the death of Billy Mays. Rumor has it Michael Jackson was the largest purchaser of OxiClean because he thought the Oxi was OxiContin and the clean would make him able to pass a drug test.

Upon the shock of Billy Mays hearing the largest purchaser of OxiClean had died, Billy's heart quit.

The second rumor is when Steve McNair told his girlfriend if he won tickets to Jackson's funeral that he was taking his wife instead of her, McNair's girlfriend was so distraught she got the gun out of the drawer and shot McNair and then shot herself.

That's just a few of the many rumors.

I suspect this circus will be in town for a long time and bring out many more clowns.

The Caper Crusader

As I travel down the gravel ridden ridges in the forest I un-chorus in a choral a’ choragic agric courses that are cording in a course of coronal aseptic torches, torching Trojan horses hoarding hormonal forces forming formulistic flicks of that filthily flavored formula, a storm erection wrecking in pen-perfected portions of an ominous and dominant dawn-drawn on an ottoman, an automatic manic attack-attacking all of them, I’m sickle celled and spelled with repellent pellets and picketing, a fickle fiend who’s feigning for follicle rollick seasonings, a volatile and versatile spillage of pillaged pillaging, just bringing heated helium treats-retreat and tickle tease that treason breezing bred for attack-tact smacking mysteries, tag teaming liquid lyric relapse-Jack coking whisperings with purring turban turbulent tracks-of racket happenings, he happens to be made out of straps-of rapping allergies all stinging slang derangement on tap-with fact and actually, I’m slinging rings of Ritalin raps-with raspy rationings, while rational and passion full packed-with cracked infracted rings, I’m rapturous while wrapped in a sack-nap sacking tragedy whose tragedy traps too many tracks-of tragic factorings, a factory of gory in allegory and aniseed, breeding flavored flavorful speak-in speed delivery, deliver witticisms with cynic brittle and written riddles, ridding rhombic rhetoric romps-with bombs of folk that fiddle, fickle tickle trickling tricks-of slips that skittle scuttle puddles cuddled under a blunder of thunder wonder bread, I’m bred from mental vengeful attack-reactions in the head, I’m heading down the path of a pathological prodigy, philology of all of that philosophic philosophy, atrocity to all the all-too-normal abnormities, enormity enormous so form a chorus and christen me, the tiger of rhyme design and written fire perspiring, performing spreading led in the afternoon, evening and morning, start mourning cause the coroner’s owner is close to cornering, the corner market marketing marvelous flavored capering.

Written by Tyler Wagner

Written by my son of course.


Due to a weird work schedule you will just have to check back daily to see when I have another post.

Don't Cry For Me Argentina

Friends I ask you, is your sex life not what it used to be?

Do you suffer the bedroom doldrums with your partner?

Are you wondering if Viagra or Levitra is the next step but don't want to discuss the matter with your doctor?

Do you want to put that spark back and have pure raw sex in the bed, back seat of a car, kitchen table, floor, couch, lazy boy, desk, balcony of the movie theater, hay field, city park, bathroom stall, hotel room or on the beach to name a few places?

All that and you work part time, travel the world, and have a great retirement package as well?

Well you can, just as many many others are doing or have done.

Don't reach for the Viagra or the Levitra. No my friends, that's not necessary.

All you have to do to get horny is to be elected to a public office and put fire and intrigue back in your sex life.

You can run as a Republican or a Democrat, it doesn't matter. All that matters is you are an office holder.

Oh yes, just as the world turns, just like in the dime store romance novels, you too can put that lust back in your life.

Ah yes, the romance novels that go something like this:

"Beloved, back to you. Got back an hour ago to civilization and I'm now in Columbia after what was for me a glorious break from reality down at the farm. No phones ringing and tangible evidence of days labors."

"Though I started every day at 6:00, this morning I woke at 4:30. I guess since my body knew it was the last day, I went out and ran the excavator with the lights until the sun came up. To me, and I suspect no one else on Earth, there's something wonderful about listening to country music playing in the cab, air conditioning running, and the hum of a huge diesel engine in the background."

Ah yes, there is nothing more romantic than country music and a tractor.

"The tranquillity that comes from being in a virtual wilderness of trees and marsh, the day　breaking in vibrant pink coming alive in the morning clouds and getting to build something with each scoop of dirt."

My God, building something out of dirt - it just doesn't get more romantic than that!

Politicians do like to get in the mud.

"Sweetest, one, the travel schedule is about to get real, real busy. Two, unfortunately all the feelings you describe are mutual. And three, where do we go from here? The following weekend I've been asked to spend out in Aspen, Colorado with John McCain which has kicked up the whole VP talk all over again in the press back home. Do you really comprehend how beautiful your smile is? Have you been told lately how warm your eyes are or how softly they glow with the special nature of your soul?"

Now that's smooth, mix in how important a politician you are while working a sex rendezvous into your schedule.

"My getting here came as no small measure because I had a foundation of love and support so critical to getting up in the morning and feeling you could give and risk because you already had a full tank of love and the emotional bank account."

A full tank of love - I have to remember that one, but you can bet it was more than $3.00 a gallon.

The emotional bank account - is that like your bank telling you your credit card is maxed out?

"Since our first meeting there in a wind swept somewhat open air dance spot in Punta del Este, --"　

Ah yes, an ocean breeze always sets the mood.

Me mind on fire -- Me soul on fire -- Feeling hot hot hot
Party people -- All around me feeling hot hot hot
What to do - On a night like this
Music sweet - I can't resist
We need a party song - A fundamental jam

So we go rum-bum-bum-bum
Yeah we rum-bum-bum-bum
Feeling hot hot hot -- Feeling hot hot hot - oh Lord

See people rocking -- Hear people chanting -- Feeling hot hot hot
Keep up this spirit -- Come on let's do it -- Feeling hot hot hot
It's in the air - Celebration time
Music sweet - captivate your mind
We have this party song - This fundamental jam

So we go rum-bum-bum-bum
Yeah we rum-bum-bum-bum
Feeling hot hot hot -- Feeling hot hot hot - Oh Lord

I felt you had the same rare attribute. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificently gentle kisses or that I love your tan lines or the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of holding yourself or two magnificent parts of yourself in the faded glow of the night's light. But hey, that would be going into the sexual details we spoke of at the steakhouse at dinner."

Oh yes, nothing better than sex and a good steak!

Somehow I don't think the two magnificent parts the author was referring to were two ice cold Coronas.

I mean　--　as I have said to you before, I certainly had a special feeling about you from the first time we met, but these things were contained, and I genuinely enjoyed our special friendship and comparing of all the too many personal notes and, yes, this is true even if you did occasionally tantalize me with sexual details over the years."　

I was just normal until you occasionally tantalize me with sexual details. Damn sneaky for sure.

In the meantime please sleep soundly knowing that despite the best efforts of my head my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul."

I don't know about you, but doesn't that make you want to run for public office?

"..my head my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul."

Pure poetry don't you think?


Wow. It's time to adjust the air conditioning thermostat and cool this place. It's sizzling hot!!!

Tick Tock

Maybe it is just me, but life is no fun anymore.

Usually I get my ideas for posts from what I see going on around the country, and very seldom do I draw a blank.

Lately all I see is the same depressing news, just rewrapped in a different package.

Personally, I think there will be no more fun. We will no longer have a voice. We will no longer be a person. We will just be what we are told to be.

Many of you believe and defend what is happening in our country today, but I, for one, do not.

But I digress, what I started to say at the beginning is I have nothing of interest to post on here today because I find nothing interesting or fun anymore.

Change has come and now from what I have seen, happiness is gone and depressed people abound.

I am old and I guess for me the bright side is, it was fun while it lasted, but now it is over and I am on the downhill side of the journey. Why care anymore when hope is gone?

Life has become boring. I am just passing time.

I have late shifts tonight and Wednesday so there will be no new posts which is probably just as well.

Last night was the late shift so there will be no new post today.