Time Off

It's Monday and after consultation with my editor, I have decided the blog will be taking at least this week off.

Thanks for stopping by!!

Sooooo Bad

Friday, none too soon.

Well, what do you know, all my readers must have gone on vacation.

That's OK, I didn't have anything anyway.

I did go to the hospital to see an acquaintance today.

He had been in a bad car wreck and was in a coma.

As luck would have it, he came out of the coma as I was standing next to his bed.

He got this real scared look on his face and he screamed to me, "Wag, Wag, I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs."

Well, I was alone with him at that moment and unfortunately it was up to me to try to calm him down by telling him why he couldn't feel his legs.

Melvin, I said, "The reason you can't feel your legs is because the doctor had to amputate both your arms!!!!"

Man, I am sure glad he couldn't shoot the messenger.

Enjoy the weekend and remember it is summer so drink lots of liquid!! Set 'em up Joe!!

Signs of the Times - Part 3

OK OK enough with the signs!!



The best way to attract potential leakers to your door. (San Fransisco, CA)




Snapped in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.




Manute Bol lives near by. (Somewhere in Maine.)




Caution: Sign Warning of Stairs. (Slough, Berkshire, England)




Liverpool, Pennsylvania




Easy directions in Brasilia, Brazil.




"Do not dangle any doll." Taken at the entrance to Wat Arun Temple in Bangkok, Thailand.




Dublin, Ireland.




Confusion on a Montana highway.




And poison protects the sheep how? (Ireland)




Notice how I filled three days!! I have no idea what you get Friday!!

Signs of the Times - Part 2

More of the signs as a follow up to yesterday.



Herbs, sheep, and massages near Columbus, Ohio.




Superloo in Scotland.




Katoomba, New South Wales, Australia.




Madrid's "Planet Sandwich" is hoping the "Planet Hollywood" customers don't pay very close attention to the signs...




Rooted out in Allerton, a suburb of Liverpool, England.




Get nailed in Scotland.




Really hungry? Stop by Braum's in Okmulgee, Oklahoma.




Puffers beware. Found in Tokyo, Japan.




I LIKE TAILORS TOO!!!! (Delhi, India)




Cosmo? (Alberta, Canada)


These are so good you get some more on Thursday so come on back!!!

Signs of the Times - Part 1

OK, let's see what the signs say!!



Found in Hiroshima, Japan.





Found in Beersheba, Israel.





"Milespit Hill" in London. Note that horse riding is forbidden.





Spotted in Ephesus, Turkey.





Also spotted in Ephesus. "Hey, are those real fake watches?"





This one was found in Vienna, Austria





Don't park at this Wal-Mart in Millville, New Jersey. But if you do, shut your engine off.





The blind, deaf, old, and schooled citizens of Chicago all hang out here.





"You live on what street?" Somewhere in rural England.





Wipe that smirk off your face, kid. (Found in Scotland.)



And there you go, here's your sign!! Join me tomorrow for more of signs!!

Bored

Monday Monday

I am bored and have nothing creative to put on here today!!

So I am taking the day off.

Thanx for checking in.

At a Loss

Friday, yes it's Friday.

For some reason this seems like it has been a long week.

I have gone in search of something prolific to write on here but to no avail.

I have searched and searched for something good to put on here.

I went to the mountain high and could not reach the top, so I went to the valley low and I just got tired.

That's a lot of searching ya know.

Once again I thought of a story but none came to me as I found myself at a loss for words.

That happens to me a lot as people have noticed I don't have a lot to say.

So I thought I would write an opinion about something but alas as everyone knows I don't have an opinion on anything!

So with that said, my last resort is to leave you with some dog stories.

Dog stories always increase readership!!


Canines canned for bad people skills

Ace drug dogs fired for peeing on luggage, embracing (ahem) women’s legs

"He liked to pee on luggage while searching for drugs inside," Mok's former handler, police Lt. Col. Jakapop Kamhon, said. "He also liked to hold onto women's legs."

"Both were just as good as foreign dogs trained for use in drug missions," he added. "But they were stray dogs, so their manners were worse than those of foreign breeds."

I know a dog that must be related to these dogs. His name is Ralph.


He enjoys the same activities at the park!!!

Hound found 7 months, 430 miles from home

Vet in Flagstaff, Ariz., offers to fly Fred home to his owners in California

FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. - A basset hound that disappeared from its California home in December has been found 430 miles away in Arizona.

I've been to Flagstaff and I don't blame the dog for wanting to live there!!




All's well that ends well!!

Company to Open Nursing Home for Pets

Japan will get its first nursing home for dogs with round-the-clock monitoring by doctors and a team of puppies to help aging pooches feel younger.

Owners pay $800 a month to keep their dogs at the Soladi Care Home for pets.

We laughed when the Japanese built cars and now look!! This idea has merit!!



Have a sun fun filled weekend!!!!!

Nothing Much

Well, today I am in a funk about what to write on the blog.

So today's post will be nothing spectacular.


I came home from work yesterday and the Rose tree I talked about in my Tuesday post still doesn't have any Roses on it.

It's been in the ground since Saturday morning and still no flowers.

Vic is getting impatient for sure.

I made the mistake of mentioning something else about Roses in the post and ever since then when I get home Vic is playing Neil Diamond and Barbra Streisand's duet of You Don't Bring Me Flowers.

Yeah Yeah!!!


In the news:

I'm sure this will go mostly unnoticed.

TV's 'Mr. Wizard' Don Herbert Dies at 89

Don Herbert, who as television's "Mr. Wizard" introduced generations of young viewers to the joys of science, died Tuesday.

Don Herbert was known to most as the enthralling TV scientist Mr. Wizard. Herbert would often remind his viewers that while science is often a precision activity, they could use things like empty mayonnaise jars if they didn't have beakers.

On his various shows, 'Mr. Wizard' often encouraged children to duplicate his science experiments at home.


The show today might seem slow but it was in-depth and forced you to think along. You were learning about the forces of nature.

This is when Television was real!! Too bad all we have is staged reality shows to watch anymore. TV of today will turn kids minds to Jell-O.

If you hook up Jell-O to an EEG, it registers movements almost identical to a human adult's brain waves.

The children of today will be the selfish pudding heads of tomorrow!!

And as a closer, I'm sure some of these I've done, but has this ever happened to you?

People point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

People say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Well, yeah! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

You can't find something and people say "where did you have it last?" Well, if I knew that it wouldn't be lost huh!!

You can't find something and people say "it's always the last place you look." Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?

While watching a movie people say "did you see that?" No, I paid $12 to come to the theater and stare at the floor.

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya?

When people say "life is short." What?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here?

OK Blog fans that is what you get for today but remember this - someday, someway, somehow when you least expect it, a stranger will come up to you and ask, "Have you read Wag's blog today??"

God Shares My Cell

Ok, ok, I know it's everywhere in the news, but as a cutting edge blogmaster I too must comment on everyone's favorite celebrity!

Paris, and I don't mean France!

Have you ever noticed when someone gets sent up to the big house how quickly they find God?

Here is a prime example:

"I'm not the same person I was," she said. "I used to act dumb."

"It was an act. I am 26 years old, and that act is no longer cute."

"It is not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me."

"I know now that I can make a difference, that I have the power to do that. I have been thinking that I want to do different things when I am out of here."

"I have become much more spiritual."

"God has given me this new chance."

She has had a person whom she described as a spiritual adviser who said, "My spirit or soul did not like the way I was being seen and that is why I was sent to jail."


"God," she said, "has released me."

She is reading newspapers -- The LA Times and the Wall Street Journal -- and books like

"The Secret,"


"The Power of Now"


and the Bible.



"I have also had time to read the mail from my fans. I very much appreciate all of their good wishes and hope they will keep their letters coming."

As for how she's doing, she's depressed but not really crying. She has a pencil and a pad of paper and she's spending her time writing down her thoughts. We're also told she's losing weight.

Oh please!!

Heavy reading for her and it sounds like she must have taken the Evelyn Woods speed reading course.

Let's see, she has been in lock down three or four days now and she is reading several not-so-easy-read books, all at the same time I may add.

The Bible I have heard is even a little more tricky than the others to read.

I myself would not know, but like I said I don't think that to be an easy read.

The Secret is a little complicated as well.

I am so impressed she is reading the Wall Street Journal so she can see where to invest the money she will make from the book she will write.

Most important she has time to read the difficult mail from her fans.

She has a pencil and a pad of paper and she's spending her time writing down her thoughts. (It's not fair, why momma why? It's not fair.)

Paris Hilton suffers from extreme Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) but has managed to overcome extreme ADD to be able to knuckle down and persevere through all the reading and writing!!

Not bad for a ninth grade education for sure!!!

"I used to act dumb." Wow how quick she got smart!!




Speaking of dumb, how dumb do some people think everyone else is.

Wesley Snipes says race is at the root of his tax evasion charges.

OCALA, Fla. - Actor Wesley Snipes is a victim of "unscrupulous tax advice" and is being selectively targeted for prosecution on federal tax evasion charges because he is black.

That's what Snipes has said all along about the charges.

Wesley Snipes, who was indicted on charges of fraudulently claiming refunds and not filing for several years, says he's being singled out because he's black.

The Oct. 17 indictment charges Snipes with fraudulently claiming refunds totaling nearly $12 million in 1996 and 1997 for income taxes already paid and also was charged with failure to file returns from 1999 through 2004.

Well, he may not have had a choice being born black, but he sure as heck had a choice on who, if anyone, did his taxes.

Let's see, if you don't pay taxes and in addition you fraudulently claim refunds totaling nearly $12 million the government should ignore you because you are black.

I think he is being singled out because he is a crook!!

Good ol' Rev. Jesse and Rev. Al may agree with Wesley, but the hard working, tax-paying black people I know disagree and think he should play a different card!!

America loves celebrities!!

I'm off to write a letter to Paris so she has something to read and a letter to the IRS in support of Wesley so we can have a Bladerunner 15 movie!!

No Friends of Mine

Ah yes, a Rose by any other name is still a Rose!

Well, not true. I hear it has to be a Jackson Perkins Rose or none at all.

So the wife is a big fan of Roses, any kind of Roses, but after all the landscaping we had put in we only have carpet roses.

Well, for over a year now all I have heard is how much she would like Rose bushes and why don't we have any.

Every time I respond with well, supposedly they don't grow well here.

Now how stupid am I to leave myself wide open for that?

There are at least 4 houses with a view from our house that have Roses growing in their yard.

My wife is quick to point out those houses as well as every other house we drive by that has Roses.

Funny how they all are thriving and have big blossoms on them she says.

Then, when we are at the park at night with our friends and the subject of Roses comes up, everyone chimes in about how great their Roses look.

Those park friends, and I use the term 'friends' loosely, either bring up my messy garage or the lack of Roses we have in our yard.

Both subjects are like a lightning rod to my wife, and trust me I feel the thunder.

Well, some of those so called friends took pity on my poor wife, or alas they wanted to make my wallet a little lighter, I'm not sure.

So here's what Ben and Ron did - they gave Vic a Rose tree.

That's right. Not a bush, oh no, they went all out and gave her a Rose Tree.

Oh no, not just any Rose Tree but a Jackson Perkins Rose Tree.

Those trees even come with a dog tag with their name on it. See the green tag in the picture.



Well, she was like a kid in a toy store running all about the yard to find the prime location for her prized possession - her first Rose, not bush, but her first Rose Tree.



At last she settled on the front entrance to our house so that all guests and anyone who happens to drive by will see that Vic has Roses too.



And not just any Roses but a Jackson Perkins Rose Tree and she turned the tag for the world to see.

So now Vic is happy because she finally gets her Roses (no I am not a romantic kind of guy so I never sent her Roses) and now I've been one-upped.

But no, it doesn't stop there.

Vic's friends (not mine), Ben and Ron, couldn't let well enough alone with the Rose Tree, oh no. With it they included a Jackson Perkins catalog full of pictures of all their plants not just Roses.

Some people would say well the catalog is like Playboy Magazine - forget the pictures just read the articles. Well, hello, in this catalog there are only pictures and you could hear Vic oohing and ahhing at those pictures of all the flowers.

So Ben and Ron made their point, but do you think they stopped there?

Ha, no way, the next night when they showed up at the park in their hands were more catalogs.

Then as icing finishes a cake, to make sure no stone was unturned, and to make double sure Vic had actually seen the previous catalogs, they delivered the ultimate secret weapon - they emailed the Jackson Perkins catalog to make sure that Vic did not miss a thing.

It's nice that Vic has friends that are so concerned with seeing her happy.

Now the question is, how big will the order from Jackson Perkins be? As Vic puts it "we have plenty of yard and did you see a lot of the plants are on sale?"

My friends, the two most dangerous words around my wife are "ON SALE."

I think Jackson Perkins is like Amway, I bet Ben and Ron get some kinda commission on sales and this was just a ruse acting like they are Vic's friends. Yeah, I bet that's it!!!

Well, that's it for today as I have to run to apply for a second job to compensate for the sale items at Jackson Perkins.

God help me if that tree doesn't bloom big!!!

Truths

It's Monday and we are back to the grind.

So let's start off the week with A Few Truths (Good Morals here)

1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.

2. Most people will be about as happy as they decide to be.

3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.

4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.

5. Success stops when you do.

6. When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to unload it.

7. You will never "have it all together."

8. Life is a journey.... not a destination. Enjoy the trip!

9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want, I will be happy."

10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

11. I've learned that ultimately 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.

12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.

13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.

14. We often fear the thing we want the most.

15. Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you don't say!

16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

17. Look for opportunities.... not guarantees.

18. Life is what's coming.... not what was.

19. Success is getting up one more time.

20. Now is the most interesting time of all.

21. When things go wrong.... don't go with them.

22. Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

23. God can mend all broken hearts. You just have to give Him all the pieces.

24. Anyone who asks a question might be a fool for 5 minutes, but a person who doesn't ask, is a fool forever.

25. A best friend is like a four leaf clover.... hard to find, and lucky to have.

26. A friend is someone who reaches for your hand but touches your heart.

27. A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous.

28. I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

29. Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace.... and your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace.

30. Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.

Well, I know we all knew these things to be true, but it never hurts to have a reminder.

Time to Take the Quiz

Friday. Yeah baby, it's Friday!!

So let's do something different to wind down the week.


How about this?


Have you seen or heard these type ads? They tell you something is 'new and improved!' Which is it?

If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.


OK switch from that to this:

What are imitation rhinestones?

A stitch in time saves nine what?

Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?

What do they call a French kiss in France?

Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?

What happens when you swallow your pride?

What kind of fruit is in Juicy Fruit gum?

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need cheese shredders?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

When night falls, who picks it up?

When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote the dictionary?

Where is Old Zealand?

How do they get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

Why are all blackboards called that when some of them are green?

How is it possible to have a "civil" war?

How is it possible to run out of space?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are you expected to slow down in a speed zone?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why do people go to the unemployment office to find a job?

Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot?

Why do they call it life insurance?

Why do they make cars go so fast it's illegal?

Why do we have hot water heaters when hot water doesn't need to be heated?

If I save time, when do I get it back?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?

Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why was Evelyn Wood in such a hurry?

Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?


And I too must call it a day!! Have a great weekend!!!!!!!!!!

The World of Sports

Sports heroes can do no wrong!!

Is He A

Laker, Bellyacher, or Colorado Raper?


Or all three?

But his wife got a big diamond outta the deal!!





Damn Yankee:


Alex Rodriguez and his wife, Cynthia, spent Thursday night in Boston, strolling the streets together and having dinner at a posh steakhouse.

Meanwhile, the New York Post continues to gather details on the blonde spotted with A-Rod earlier in the week in Toronto.

The Post says Joslyn Noel Morse, 30, is an exotic dancer and Playboy Bunny wanna-be who has danced at several Vegas strip clubs.

Cynthia Rodriguez didn't say much while her husband signed autographs during their walk in Boston and all A-Rod said was "It's been enough."

Rodriguez, 31, is a big fan of Scores Las Vegas, whose Web site boasts of "Elegance, Gorgeous Girls and Superior Service."

Sources said A-Rod regularly dropped by its 25,000-square foot, 500-dancer space regularly - "off-season and during the season" - most recently several weeks ago during a Yankee road trip.

Las Vegas is on the route the Yankees would take to get to most games I guess.

I think the latest escapade was on their way to Boston!!!

Nice role model for his kid, what a great dad!

I wonder how big of a diamond his wife will get?




Who else was there?

BOSTON - Roger Clemens will have tests on his ailing groin Monday, and the New York Yankees hope he can make his first start of the season next weekend.

He was originally slated to return to the struggling Yankees before being scratched because of a fatigued right groin.

Hmmmmm, I wonder if he was hanging with A-Rod at the strip joints when he fatigued his groin?





Former NASCAR publicist sentenced in child sex case

GREENSBORO, N.C. A former NASCAR publicist convicted of having sex with an 11-year-old girl he met over the Internet was sentenced Friday to 26 years in prison.


He was charged in federal court with using a computer to entice a child into sexual activity and coercing a minor into sexual activity for the purpose of making pornography.

Williams is a former publicist for NASCAR's Winston Cup series. He left that job to run his own public relations firm, representing drivers such as Kyle Petty, Bobby Labonte and John Andretti.

During the sentencing hearing, Williams' attorney, Locke Clifford, read two letters in support of the former publicist. Clifford said the letters were from two Nextel Cup drivers that he called "household names in North Carolina."

We need to know who in the NASCAR world supported this jerk. It's time for letters to their sponsors!!!



That's the sports report this week.

Join me again on Friday for something more of nothing!!!

Church Lady and Sex

R rated Wednesday.

The Catholic church is at it again:

Choir director canned for focus on wrong organ

Catholic priest removes musician from church who sold sex toys on the side

NEW FRANKEN, Wis. - A Catholic priest has removed his church's organist and choir director from her duties saying her sale of sex toys was not "consistent with Church teachings."

Linette Servais, 50, played the organ and sung with the choir for 35 years. Much of her work as choir director and organist was done without pay. When her parish priest asked to meet with her, she thought it was to say thank you.

Instead, she was told to quit her sales job with a company known as Pure Romance or she would lose her position in the church.

Pure Romance in Loveland, Ohio, is a $60 million per year business that sells spa products and sex toys at home parties attended by women. It has 15,000 consultants like Servais.

She said her decision was not hard: She began working with Pure Romance after a brain tumor and treatment left her sexually dysfunctional. The job allows her to help other women who have similar problems.

The Rev. Dean Dombroski felt differently, removing her from the choir loft just before Thanksgiving and gradually taking away other church duties. Servais can no longer take pictures during First Communion services or lead the committee planning St. Joseph's annual late-summer picnic.

'She could not do both'
Dombroski said he couldn't discuss the situation because it involves personnel. But in a letter to his rural congregation, he wrote: "Linette is a consultant for a firm which sells products of a sexual nature that are not consistent with Church teachings. Because parish leaders are expected to model the teaching of our faith ... she could stay on as the choir director/organist or she could continue to be a consultant but she could not do both."

OK let me see here, it's OK for priests to be pedophiles but you can't play the organ for free in church if you sell sex toys.

Not consistent with Church teachings. Because parish leaders are expected to model the teaching of our faith ..

Ah the truth finally comes out, being a pedophile is a model of their faith.

So how did the priest even know about these sex toys? Did he buy a bunch for research prior to firing the organist?






ZZZ's don't stop sexsomniacs from getting it on

Bedtime is more stimulating than serene for some people, sleep doctors say

It sounds like some perverse form of multi-tasking: sex while sleeping.

That’s right. Some people can — and do — have sex without ever waking up, according to a study published in the journal Sleep. Sexual behaviors that occur during sleep range from simple moaning to fondling to outright intercourse, scientists say.

Apparently there isn’t much you can’t do while sleeping. Sex while sleeping — labeled as sexsomnia or sleepsex.

There is nothing new about this story. I remember in my younger days out clubbing and listening to guys talking about their latest conquests and often times someone would say, "Well yeah, she just laid there like she was asleep!!"

On the other hand, I heard some ladies talking about guys they had been with that they said put them to sleep!!



Talk about side effects:

Deadly spiders venom may yield super virility

Chile's black widow also has promising spermicidal abilities, scientists find

SANTIAGO, Chile - Scientists have discovered a potentially marketable contraceptive in the venom of Chile's black widow spider, whose bite is fatal to many but can also cause prolonged, painful and involuntary erections in men.

The venom of the Latrodectus mactans, a variety of black widow found only in the south of Chile, has spermicidal properties not found in black widows in other regions of the world.

Romero heads a research team that has studied the spider’s venom for seven years, prompted by tales of Chilean farmers who acquired superhuman virility after being bitten by the black widow.

‘Spider-bitten’
His team discovered the property after looking into Chilean folklore that describes a virile man, one known to have spectacular sexual energy or many sexual partners, as being ”spider-bitten.”

The spider’s bite can kill children and the elderly, but among strong young farmers it leads to erections that can last for days.

Is this a case of the bite is worse than the cure?

Wow Viagra advises to call a doctor after 4 hours, this advises to call all the women you know!!!!

The problem as I see it is simple.

Viagra can kill you during sex, however the bite of a spider can kill you before sex. Hmmmmm not sure on that!

Both can kill you during and after if her husband comes home early!!!

Run fast!!

I know it's Wednesday and this is not even sweeps week. I will shoot for a better post tomorrow!!

A Conversation with My Zoe'

Tuesday is as Tuesday does.




So my dog Zoe' sat down beside me and was in kind of a melancholy mood.

It was time to sit and chew the bone so we settled in and she asked me how my day had been and how I was doing. I told her my day was fine and I am good.

I asked her what was going on in her life and she said life was good. She gets to swim every day and rule her kingdom.

Zoe' said she feels like Paris Hilton - everyone pampers her and she growls when she wants and gets attention when she wants. Zoe' said life is good!


I asked her how her trips to the local park were going and she opened up and told me that she had had an interesting conversation with the other dogs at the park.

She told me that they had all been talking about how, no matter the weather - hot, cold, wind, rain, or snow, all the dogs felt they had to take their masters to the park so they would not be disappointed.

She said she and the other dogs agreed there were nights they really didn't feel like going to the park, but they all said if they didn't take their masters to the park that the masters would mope all night and make them feel guilty.

Zoe' also told me that all the dogs noticed how all of their masters started clock watching when it was getting close to time to go and even how some of their masters give them that big eye stare as if to ask if there was any chance of going early.

She told me the dogs thought it especially important to socialize their masters with other masters so they would get along with a group.

Zoe' said that all the dogs, including her, were very surprised and real happy with the way the masters all get along with each other and in fact thought it was great how much laughter they hear from the group.

She said that all the dogs think a lot of the world problems are solved by their masters every night as well.

She also noted that the dogs all have a smorgasbord of treats every night, but the dogs do enjoy watching their masters devour Pat's cookies when her dog Maggie makes her bring cookies to the park.

Zoe said all of the dogs were especially pleased that the masters are concerned that the dogs don't get bored while waiting for the masters getting ready to leave so they bring goodies to keep the dogs there longer so their masters can visit more.

She said all the dogs agreed they were willing to give up watching Animal Planet on TV so their masters got out of the house and enjoyed the fresh air. They all thought that was a small price to pay.

With that she settled in for a quick 10 minute nap before taking me to the park.

Man I hope Zoe' wakes up in time to take me to the park. If not I will have to make noise to wake her up so she will let me go to the park!!!!!


A recent survey of over 200 professional dog obedience judges ranked the Afghan hound as the least intelligent dog. The border collie was ranked the smartest. Discover Magazine, 4/07

But when it came to the smartest, Discover Magazine never met my dog Zoe'. They don't know she talks!!!!

It's Tuesday, what can I say, but it's hard entertaining thousands of people!!

Return again tomorrow for more of nothing much!!!

Unfair for Sure

Monday, Monday.


OK, I mentioned on my May 29th post I was going to check on a radar jammer because the Highway Patrol has a vendetta against me.

Well, take a look at what I found out.

IT'S A FELONY!

FCC Ban
Stiff Penalties for Radar Jammers Users

Banned in 1997
The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) banned the sale and use of radar jammers in December of 1997.

At the time an FCC spokesman said "the action sends a clear message to all manufacturers that the FCC will strictly enforce its rules to prevent harmful interference to police radar.

If You Are Caught - It's Gonna Cost Ya!
This law covers both active and passive radar jammers.

If the FCC finds that you willfully and repeatedly interfere with radio signals by using a radar jammer, you could pay as much as $11,000 for each violation (up to a total of $75,000) and/or you could be sent to jail.

How unfair is that??

The FCC should worry more about what people hear on radio stations. Howard Stern anyone?

Besides, a radar jammer just levels the playing field, so what business is it of the FCC if the cop actually has to catch me speeding the old fashioned way by following me to check my speed?

Geezzzzzzzz the cops track you with an airplane, they say they paced you from 5 miles back, they say they clocked the car in front of you so since you were behind it you must have been speeding. And in addition to regular radar now they use pop radar to mess up my radar detector so I am to slow to react.

That's not fair!!

The other reason we, the discriminating drivers, ought to be allowed to block radar is a simple health issue. Who knows what all those blasts of radar from cop cars will do to our health?

I do know that radar definitely causes mood swings in my wife because after a hit by the radar gun and the ensuing ticket I get, my wife's mood changes drastically.

She goes from sweet and happy to, well, let's just say, not so happy!

They call it "rules to prevent harmful interference to police radar."

Why is me blocking radar harmful to the cops?

It could be a problem I guess if they don't fill their quota, otherwise no harm, no foul!!


OK enough on that.

Boy I had a long weekend programing my office phone to accept calls.

Rather than have people offended by push 1 for English and 2 for Spanish and in order to be fair to all immigrants, I added push 1-120 for other languages of the world.

A daunting task for sure. Man do you remember when English was the language spoken in the United States?

OK, start of another week so you come back tomorrow, you hear!!

Depressed Rantings of a Mad Man

It's Friday of a short week when one should be upbeat but I'm depressed today. The world has changed and there seems to be nothing I can do about it.

These are just a few of my concerns:

When did it become OK to abandon the golden rule?

When did it become a bar's responsibility when a person gets drunk and goes out and has an accident in their car?

When did it become the city's responsibility when someone steps off the curb wrong and twists their ankle?

When did it become the homeowner's responsibility when someone invited or not invited enters the property and injures themselves?

When did it become OK to disrespect your elders?

When did it become OK to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

When did it become OK to burn the U.S. flag?

When did it become OK for a celebrity/athlete to murder someone?

When did it become OK for a celebrity/athlete to rape someone?

When did it become OK for a celebrity/athlete to raise dogs strictly for dog fighting?

When did it become OK to accept bribes?

When did smoking become bad, but drinking too much alcohol remained OK?

When did it become OK to ban cigarette companies from advertising on race cars but it remained OK to promote alcohol by advertising on those same cars?

When did it become OK for people to draw disability checks and not work at anything?

When did it become OK to give your word and not keep it?

When did it become OK for our government to send huge amounts of money to Africa to fight Aids, but spend very little on our own soil to do the same?

When did it become OK for our government to send huge amounts of money to other countries in time of natural disasters, but spend very little on our own soil to do the same?

When did it become OK to allow 12 million people to break the law and then give them amnesty?

When did it become OK to have to push a number on a phone to speak English?

When did it become OK to print voting ballots in any other language but English?

When did it become OK to start a war but not finish it?

When did it become OK for the politicians not the generals to dictate how wars would be fought?

When did it become OK to talk out loud or talk on a cell phone in a library?

When did it become OK to talk out loud or talk on a cell phone in a movie?

When did it become OK to show sex and violence on television?

When did it become OK to play songs on the radio about killing people?

When did it become OK to use the "F" word in normal conversation?

When did it become OK to let kids run wild?

When did it become OK to not teach kids manners?

When did it become OK to disrespect your parents?

When did it become OK to disrespect authority figures?

When did it become OK to check out more than 15 items in a 15 or less check out?

When did it become OK to run red lights?

When did it become OK to cut in in lines?

When did it become OK to think everyone owes you a living?


When did right go wrong?

I could go on and on for hours, but even if I did there is nothing I can do to turn back time and make wrong right again!!!!

After experiencing what was, it's sad to see what is.

Life in these United States will never be the same again!!