Don't Cry For Me Argentina

Friends I ask you, is your sex life not what it used to be?

Do you suffer the bedroom doldrums with your partner?

Are you wondering if Viagra or Levitra is the next step but don't want to discuss the matter with your doctor?

Do you want to put that spark back and have pure raw sex in the bed, back seat of a car, kitchen table, floor, couch, lazy boy, desk, balcony of the movie theater, hay field, city park, bathroom stall, hotel room or on the beach to name a few places?

All that and you work part time, travel the world, and have a great retirement package as well?

Well you can, just as many many others are doing or have done.

Don't reach for the Viagra or the Levitra. No my friends, that's not necessary.

All you have to do to get horny is to be elected to a public office and put fire and intrigue back in your sex life.

You can run as a Republican or a Democrat, it doesn't matter. All that matters is you are an office holder.

Oh yes, just as the world turns, just like in the dime store romance novels, you too can put that lust back in your life.

Ah yes, the romance novels that go something like this:

"Beloved, back to you. Got back an hour ago to civilization and I'm now in Columbia after what was for me a glorious break from reality down at the farm. No phones ringing and tangible evidence of days labors."

"Though I started every day at 6:00, this morning I woke at 4:30. I guess since my body knew it was the last day, I went out and ran the excavator with the lights until the sun came up. To me, and I suspect no one else on Earth, there's something wonderful about listening to country music playing in the cab, air conditioning running, and the hum of a huge diesel engine in the background."

Ah yes, there is nothing more romantic than country music and a tractor.

"The tranquillity that comes from being in a virtual wilderness of trees and marsh, the day　breaking in vibrant pink coming alive in the morning clouds and getting to build something with each scoop of dirt."

My God, building something out of dirt - it just doesn't get more romantic than that!

Politicians do like to get in the mud.

"Sweetest, one, the travel schedule is about to get real, real busy. Two, unfortunately all the feelings you describe are mutual. And three, where do we go from here? The following weekend I've been asked to spend out in Aspen, Colorado with John McCain which has kicked up the whole VP talk all over again in the press back home. Do you really comprehend how beautiful your smile is? Have you been told lately how warm your eyes are or how softly they glow with the special nature of your soul?"

Now that's smooth, mix in how important a politician you are while working a sex rendezvous into your schedule.

"My getting here came as no small measure because I had a foundation of love and support so critical to getting up in the morning and feeling you could give and risk because you already had a full tank of love and the emotional bank account."

A full tank of love - I have to remember that one, but you can bet it was more than $3.00 a gallon.

The emotional bank account - is that like your bank telling you your credit card is maxed out?

"Since our first meeting there in a wind swept somewhat open air dance spot in Punta del Este, --"　

Ah yes, an ocean breeze always sets the mood.

Me mind on fire -- Me soul on fire -- Feeling hot hot hot
Party people -- All around me feeling hot hot hot
What to do - On a night like this
Music sweet - I can't resist
We need a party song - A fundamental jam

So we go rum-bum-bum-bum
Yeah we rum-bum-bum-bum
Feeling hot hot hot -- Feeling hot hot hot - oh Lord

See people rocking -- Hear people chanting -- Feeling hot hot hot
Keep up this spirit -- Come on let's do it -- Feeling hot hot hot
It's in the air - Celebration time
Music sweet - captivate your mind
We have this party song - This fundamental jam

So we go rum-bum-bum-bum
Yeah we rum-bum-bum-bum
Feeling hot hot hot -- Feeling hot hot hot - Oh Lord

I felt you had the same rare attribute. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificently gentle kisses or that I love your tan lines or the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of holding yourself or two magnificent parts of yourself in the faded glow of the night's light. But hey, that would be going into the sexual details we spoke of at the steakhouse at dinner."

Oh yes, nothing better than sex and a good steak!

Somehow I don't think the two magnificent parts the author was referring to were two ice cold Coronas.

I mean　--　as I have said to you before, I certainly had a special feeling about you from the first time we met, but these things were contained, and I genuinely enjoyed our special friendship and comparing of all the too many personal notes and, yes, this is true even if you did occasionally tantalize me with sexual details over the years."　

I was just normal until you occasionally tantalize me with sexual details. Damn sneaky for sure.

In the meantime please sleep soundly knowing that despite the best efforts of my head my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul."

I don't know about you, but doesn't that make you want to run for public office?

"..my head my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul."

Pure poetry don't you think?


Wow. It's time to adjust the air conditioning thermostat and cool this place. It's sizzling hot!!!