You Know You Are Having a Bad Day When....

No tongue, no tongue!!

Woman Fatally Bitten by Snake in Church

LONDON, Ky. - A southeastern Kentucky woman was bitten by a snake during a church service and later died, a law enforcement officer said. Linda Long, 48, of London died Sunday at University of Kentucky Medical Center. Long died about four hours after the bite was reported

Officials said Long attended East London Holiness Church. Neighbors of the church told the newspaper the church practices serpent handling.

"She said she was bitten by a snake at her church."

Handling reptiles as part of religious services is illegal in Kentucky. Snake handling is a misdemeanor and punishable by a $50 to $100 fine. Police said they had not received reports about snake handling at the church.

Snake handling is based on a passage in the Bible, in the Gospel of Mark, that says a sign of a true believer is the power to "take up serpents" without being harmed.


Linda, I was joking when I said that. The Devil made me do it!!
What I really meant to say was take up servants without being harmed!!
signed God.










How unloved is this?

Dead woman wins county commissioner's race

S.D. candidate gets 100 votes; official says voters knew she was deceased

PIERRE, S.D. - A woman who died two months ago won a county commissioner's race in Jerauld County on Tuesday.

Democrat Marie Steichen, of Woonsocket, got 100 votes, defeating incumbent Republican Merlin Feistner, of Woonsocket, who had 64 votes.

Jerauld County Auditor Cindy Peterson said she believes the county board will have to meet to appoint a replacement for Steichen. Peterson said she'll check with the state's attorney to be sure that's the process.

Peterson said voters knew Steichen had died.

Man, how would you like to lose this one? Claim to fame, beat by a dead person.

If I was Merlin Feistner, I think I would find a new town to live in!!!!








Bad news for the husband:

Woman regains voice after nearly 3 years

She's the second patient to have a surprise recovery at Kansas care center

ARKANSAS CITY, Kan. - A woman thought to have Lou Gehrig's Disease has resumed talking after a silence of nearly three years — the second such surprise recovery at a south-central Kansas facility. Nurse Georgi Hollins was tending to De Glaze on Halloween when her longtime patient surprised her.

She said, 'Georgi, I want to thank you for that bath you gave me last week; it was one of the best baths I've had,'" said Hollins, director of nursing at the Medicalodge North Post-Acute Care Center.

"It brought tears to my eyes," she said. "It was such a long sentence."

The facility's first surprise came in 2005 when patient Tracy Gaskill spoke her first words in nearly three years. She had suffered critical internal and head injuries in a September 2002 traffic accident.

"It's just something in the water," said Administrator Erik Hatten. "It's been pretty amazing.

Hollins said Glaze's recovery is "quite remarkable. We dance around miracles."

In a visit with family members Monday, Glaze called the recovery "the miracle of my life."

Every Tuesday, church ladies from her church, First Assembly of God, prayed for her, Glaze said.

"The church ladies said they'll have to rename this place the Miracle Lodge," said Glaze, who served as a nurse for more than 30 years before the disease debilitated her.

Members of Glaze's family including her husband, Joe, and her daughter, Doreen, also were present last Tuesday when she began to talk. She spoke her first words to her husband, Joe Glaze, team leader for respiratory therapy at South Central Kansas Regional Medical Center.

"She said 'thank you,'" he said. "It just happened suddenly, and then, wham, she took off (talking). Then she started complaining."

Joe Glaze said his wife's doctor told him he had never seen a patient with ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease, lose their voice and regain it.

"Lou Gehrig's disease is a continually deteriorating disease that continues until a person dies," said Dr. David Schmeidler, De's physician. "It's a neurological disease and they gradually go down, lose control of their muscles and waste away."

However, Schmeidler noted that Glaze's diagnosis of Lou Gehrig's Disease was a working diagnosis from the neurologist. He said the diagnosis "was never definitely made with De."

And to quote the husband he said, "It just happened suddenly, and then, wham, she took off (talking). Then she started complaining."

His life just went to hell again - complaining right away.

My staff advises the husband has hired an attorney and is suing the hospital for allowing this to happen!!!







Poor guy

Ill Killer Gets Sprung From Jail, Kills Husband

SOFIA - A Bulgarian woman who killed her son was released from prison because of terminal cancer. She then went home and killed her husband, police said Tuesday.

The 57-year-old was sentenced to 15 years in jail for killing her 29-year-old son with a garden hoe in April 2005 while he was sleeping.

Last month, authorities judged her to be in the final stages of cancer and let her go home, where she stabbed her husband in the throat with a knife.

"It was established she was in the last stage of cancer, she had it all over her body," said a spokeswoman for the Bourgas regional police.

"They presumed she was feeling bad and she would treat herself and rest. But nothing of the kind. She got aggressive and ... she killed her husband."

The woman, from a village in eastern Bulgaria, has been taken into custody again and is awaiting a new trial.

"She threatened that, if she is released again, she will kill her second son as well," the police spokeswoman said.

"The whole case is like something from the twilight zone."

I bet she faked the cancer to get outta jail.

She doesn't much love the remaining son either!!!!








Their day went to sh%t in a hurry!!!

Greyhound Poops On Ohio Family

Bus company sued for repulsive highway latrine-dumping incident

An Ohio family is suing Greyhound Lines, claiming that they were driving behind one of the company's buses when the vehicle discharged its latrine, covering them and their car with a fetid stew of human waste, toilet paper, and chemicals.

In a Court of Common Pleas lawsuit, Robert and Angela Stokes charge that they were driving last May (Mother's Day, to be exact) on I-75 in Toledo when "Greyhound Bus No. 6426" suddenly "emptied the contents of its latrine."

The Stokes, who were traveling with their three children, claim that they and their 2002 Ford Explorer were covered with "human urine, human feces, toilet paper, other waste products" and a liquid toilet chemical known as F-104 Inca Gold.

Along with destroying their car, the Stokes contend that the bus discharge ruined their clothes and caused them to incur about $10,000 in medical bills.

I wonder if they ever heard the phrase 'sh#t happens?'

Or: Where Did that sh#t come from?

Or: Boy I'm having a sh%tty day!!

Or: Holy sh%t!

Or: Pi#s on it!

Or: Oh, no sh#t!!



That's the best I got for today. Take a peek here tomorrow for all the news you can use!!