Hard to Figure

Takes a licking — and takes off running!

Cops: Man enters home, licks left big toe of woman asleep next to husband

STUART, Fla. - A man entered a home and licked the toe of a sleeping woman over the weekend, police said.

The man reportedly licked the woman's left big toe while she was sleeping early Sunday.

The woman was sleeping next to her husband, who chased the suspect from the house and down the street.

The suspect was wearing a black, hooded sweat shirt, white shorts and white shoes.

Pretty good description from someone that was awakened from a sleep.

This is a good example of why you should have a pedicure often because you never know who will be licking, I mean looking at, your toes!!








Pie in the face

Principal's sums just don't figure

It simply doesn't add up.

A controversial Brooklyn high school principal sent a pie chart and letter home explaining her new grading system - but the confusing graphic totals more than 100%.

About 150 of the memos went out Monday to Lafayette High School students and parents before Education Department higherups caught wind of the spoiled pie chart and stopped the mailings, the Daily News has learned.

Principal Jolanta Rohloff is "trying to make us smart but [the pie chart] is stupid," said sophomore Stephanie Ortiz, who received a copy.

"By looking at it, you can tell automatically she can't add," said Na-Deardra Love, 14, also a sophomore. "If you add it up, what's going on?"

But Rohloff defended the charts, without acknowledging the mathematical impossibility.

"That was meant to be flexible for the teachers to allow them a range to make a decision on grades," she said.

Still, Education Department spokeswoman Margie Feinberg said the memo would be "readjusted so people won't misconstrue that it's anything but 100%."

The embattled principal, a graduate of Mayor Bloomberg's elite Leadership Academy for new principals, was previously chastised by the Education Department for gutting the grades of hundreds of students last summer.

Rohloff had docked students' grades by 10 to 15 points for failing to score 65 or higher on the Regents exam. Education Department officials ordered her to reverse the policy, which had sparked a firestorm among teachers and students.

Rohloff subsequently put together a committee of teachers and students to revise the grading policy. The pie chart sent out Monday explained that under the new system Regents exams would count 25% toward final grades, homework for 10% to 20%, exams for 60% to 75% and classwork for 10% to 20%.

Add it up and the range would be 105% to 140%.

Rohloff also made headlines last spring for trying to bribe teachers with school money so that they would decorate and clean their rooms before a visit by top administrators.

All we hear is how bad test scores are in schools. I think I am starting to understand why they are low in math!!! 2 plus 2 = 5








Woman Dies Next to Own Grave

AMSTERDAM - A Dutch woman, who had meticulously planned her own funeral after the death of her husband last year, died next to the grave in Amsterdam where she wanted to be buried, a newspaper reported.

The 65-year-old widow probably died of a heart attack while she was visiting the family grave where her name, but no date, was already inscribed.

The woman was carrying a bag with her containing her will when she died and had already organized details of her funeral including the music she wanted played.

Wow, some people are so well organized. I wonder how you know the exact time and place you are going to die?








Dead woman wins deadlocked vote by coin toss

Opponent calls ‘heads,’ handing Alaska school board seat to the deceased

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - A dead woman won re-election to a school board in rural Alaska after her opponent lost a coin flip meant to break an electoral tie.

Katherine Dunton, who died of cancer the day of the local election, was re-elected to the Aleutian Region School District board after her opponent, Dona Highstone, called "heads" on a coin toss that landed "tails," state and local officials said.

"This is the first that I have ever heard about, not only in our state but in any other," said Whitney Brewster, director of the Alaska Division of Elections.

The coin toss was held on Friday, in accordance with state law, to break the tie since both candidates had 19 votes.

The school district, which covers an island region stretching 600 miles and has jurisdiction over about 50 students, has not yet decided how to fill Dunton's seat.

Too bad all politicians are not elected by a coin toss. Oh wait, in the great state of Nevada they are - how many coins are tossed into their pockets!!








Mayor Mistakenly Hands Out Sex Number

EDMOND, Okla. - The mayor personally distributed thousands of fliers discouraging underage drinking only to find they mistakenly contained the phone number for a sex talk line.

Edmond Mayor Saundra Naifeh and more than five dozen volunteers went door-to-door Saturday to deliver 22,000 fliers. The city attorney notified Naifeh Saturday night after the police department learned of the mistake.

"Obviously, it made me feel sick," Naifeh said. "I had a blister on one foot (from going door-to-door) when the city attorney told me the number was wrong. I have no idea how the error happened."

Callers dialing the number were promised "exciting live talk" if they called a second number offering provocative telephone conversations or text messages costing 99 cents to $2.99 a minute.

City Manager Larry Stevens called the wrong listing an inadvertent error that occurred when the card was designed by the Oklahoma Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services.

Naifeh said writing a story identifying the nature of the wrong telephone number was sensationalism and tabloid news.

"It will change the focus of what we were doing," she said. "It is not part of the story."

Naifeh had chosen the campaign to fight underage drinking as Edmond's contribution to Make A Difference Day, a national day set aside to help neighbors and the community.

Hello, honey, can you hear me now ohhhhhhhhhh!!

Hee Hee, Make A Difference Day, a national day set aside to help neighbors and the community - I'll bet she did!

Oh "exciting live talk" for Edmond, Okla., has got to be the talk of the town!!!





And that is today's totally exciting blog. Try not to get so excited anticipating tomorrow's news that you lose sleep.