It's Da Police

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Even for chief, calling cops fat not a smart move

Florida official ousted over urging his ‘jelly belly’ officers to lose weight

WINTER HAVEN, Fla. - Police Chief Paul Goward was tired of looking around his department and seeing blubber hanging over the belts of some of his officers. So he sent out a memo exhorting the "jelly bellies" to shape up.

In the end, the department lost 190 pounds — all of them belonging to Goward. He was forced out as chief because some of his officers took offense at the memo.

The memo bruised feelings on the 80-member force, drew at least one anonymous letter of complaint from officers about the chief's management style and made his department the butt of jokes about fat cops and doughnuts.

"If they got their feelings hurt to the extent of `Do something about it,' then I did what I was intending to do," said an unapologetic Goward, a trim 6-footer who was forced to resign his $92,000-a-year post last week.

Some of the chief's defenders said his ouster was a big overreaction.

"He offered tremendously good advice, yet he was sacked," wrote Thomas Roe Oldt, a columnist for The Ledger of Lakeland.

In his memo, titled "Are You a Jelly Belly," the chief never singled anyone out, and apart from the title, didn't call anyone names.

Instead, he provided a list of 10 reasons police officers should be in shape. He said overweight police poorly represent the profession, poop out when chasing suspects and might have to resort to "a higher level of force" if a criminal got the upper hand in a fight. He said out-of-shape cops are a liability to the city and their families.

"Take a good look at yourself," he wrote. "If you are unfit, do yourself and everyone else a favor. See a professional about a proper diet and a fitness training program, quit smoking, limit alcohol intake and start thinking self-pride, confidence and respectability. And stop making excuses for delaying what you know you should have been doing years ago. We didn't hire you unfit and we don't want you working unfit. Don't mean to offend, this is just straight talk. I owe it to you."

Winter Haven cops must pass physical examinations to be hired but are not regularly tested for fitness thereafter.

No ban on doughnut shop visits
Goward, 60, said he is not a fitness freak, was not "asking for a department full of Arnold Schwarzeneggers here" and did not order his officers to stay away from fast-food restaurants or doughnut shops. In fact, the 36-year police veteran, who has also worked in Kansas and South Carolina, said Winter Haven's force is no less fit than the others he has served on.


David Greene, manager of the central Florida city of 30,000, said through a spokeswoman that he was too busy for an interview, but told the local newspapers the anonymous complaint letters made it clear the police department had a morale problem because of Goward's abrasive management style during his 2 1/2 years there.

"Emotions within the police department and the relationship with the police chief became raw," he told The Ledger.

‘The icing on the cake’
One of the anonymous complaint letters described the force as "upset to say the least" about the chief and called the "Jelly Belly" memo "the icing on the cake."

"This letter shows the type of harassment and hostile work environment we have. The chief of police is constantly 'bad talking' us in every way possible and we have had enough of his arrogance," the letter read.





Oh these poor picked on cops who thought that bad ol boss was 'bad talking' them.

They thought the "protect and serve" on the side of the car meant protect my job and serve me more of the mashed potatoes and gravy!!!

But then maybe they had trouble at the gym and were kicked out like my next story.






Gym Expels Members for Grunting

ALBANY, N.Y. - Some gyms forbid hogging machines or wearing flip flops. At one gym, grunting is grounds for expulsion. Albert Argibay of Beacon, N.Y. was escorted by police officers from a gym this week for grunting - which is against Planet Fitness' rules for maintaining a non-intimidating atmosphere.

"Perhaps I grunted, perhaps I didn't. It's open to interpretation," said Argibay, a 40-year-old corrections officer. He said he had his headset on when he was lifting 500 pounds on a squat machine at the gym in Wappingers Falls, about 80 miles north of New York City.

Planet Fitness, which has 120 locations across the country, markets itself as a place where anyone can feel comfortable in its "Judgment Free Zone."

Its rules, posted around the gym, state members cannot wear bandanas, grunt or bang weights on the ground. When an offender is spotted, a "lunk alarm" sounds to warn the member.

"When somebody's in there and they grunt and they grunt loud, it's trying to bring attention to themselves to show everyone how strong they are," Grondahl said.

Argibay emitted the offending grunt Monday evening, a peak time for gyms, said Carol Palazzolo, the gym's general manager. She said she heard it from across the room, even though "the place was a zoo."

An argument ensued when she confronted him, and the police were called. Argibay was escorted out, but no charges were filed.

"It's an embarrassing situation to be in, over a grunt," Argibay said.

Most clubs have policies regarding proper gym manners, although expulsions are rare, said Brooke Correia, spokeswoman for the International Health, Racquet and Sportsclub Association.

"I don't know the reason behind grunting or not grunting. But if you need to grunt, you may go and join another gym," she said.


This is exactly why I quit going to the gym.

I was bench pressing 400 pounds and doing 600 pound squats and I accidentally grunted under the strain of 50 reps and they got mad so I had to stop going to the gym as well.

I wonder if they pad the weights so it is as quiet as a library used to be. Sh-h-h-h!!!







Teen Points BB Gun at the Wrong Car

CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa - A teenager pointed his BB pistol at the wrong car. The car stopped and the two men inside pulled out their real .40-caliber Glock handguns. They were undercover police driving an unmarked car.

They ordered Ryon Shelton, 15, of Cedar Rapids, to drop his gun, police said.

"They thought it was a real gun," police Lt. Kenneth Washburn said. "He dropped the gun and attempted to run and was apprehended."

Shelton told officers he was "just playing around" and trying to scare people during the Halloween night incident.

It's a good thing these cops were in shape and could apprehend him. In Winter Haven, Fla. they could never catch him!!

I wonder if when the kid had two .40 caliber guns pointed at him he was more scared than the people he was just trying to scare? Happy Halloween dude!!!






Smell of Pizza Leads Deputy to Suspects

COLUMBUS, Ind. - A sheriff's deputy sniffed out two men suspected of robbing a pizza delivery woman when he caught a whiff of pepperoni and sausage pizza at their home.

Bartholomew County Sheriff's Deputy Jimmy Green was searching the area where the delivery woman was robbed for potential witnesses Sunday night when he grew suspicious of one man, Maj. Mark Gorbett said.

"It just didn't seem right to Jimmy, and he wanted to take it a step further and went to the witness' residence. That's when Jimmy smelled the aroma of pizza," Gorbett said. "I'm sure our K-9 unit wouldn't have hit on the pizza."

I would have thought this police department was in Winter Haven, Fla., you know the ‘jelly belly’ officers.

This Jimmy guy was better than the dog no less!!!




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Table for 2???