A Warming Conversation

PRESIDENT OBAMA: We will restore science to its rightful place.

I have a habit of asking the wife Vicki to make calls for me, which I might add she hates doing, however the other day she had a weak moment and the following is what took place.

Vicki, get Al Gore on the phone for me, will you?

Yes, the Al Gore that was Vice President of the United States. You know, the Nobel Peace Prize winner, Academy Award winning actor, Inconvenient Truth guy that is the expert scientist on global warming.

I really need to talk to him because our country seems to think we should throw billions / trillions of dollars at this so-called global warming, climate catastrophe thing that he is the expert on.

Well, yes it is important I talk to him because as you know three out of the five leading scientists contend that recent climate change is driven by natural cycles, not human industrial activity.

OK, did you get him on the line?

What do you mean he won't take my call? Does he know who I am? You told him and he still refused my call, oh.

OK then since this is global, get me a Japanese scientist on the line, someone with a scientific background like Al Gore's.

Let's try to get Kanya Kusano on the line. He is the program director and group leader for the Earth simulator at the Japan Agency For Marine-Earth Science and Technology. He has a doctorate of science from the University of Hiroshima.

His expertise is in simulation science, plasma physics, space physics, astrosciences, fusion science, magneto-hydrodynamics and multiscale modeling.

Yes, of course I am more than qualified to talk to him about the three-dimensional simulation study of flux rope dynamics in the solar corona.

What, he is in a state of flux and can't come to the phone right now but said to be sure and tell me Al is wrong.

This is getting harder than I thought so let's try calling the other scientist guy that also doesn't believe we are causing global warning.

No I can't remember his name. He is the head of the International Arctic Research Center in Alaska. He uses historical data to challenge the claim that the very recent temperatures represent an anomaly.

Yes I know you can't call him if I can't remember his name, but that's OK. Why would historical data have any relevance anyway. So let's try that third scientist named Akasofu.

Yes,you are right he was named as the world's most cited scientist on space physics. Right, he is the one that authored the paper on polar and magnetospheric sub storms.

What? His voice mail message states due to an overwhelming amount of calls from Al Gore chastising him for practicing science and thus restricting Al's livelihood he is no longer taking calls on the subject.

OK Vicki thanks for trying, and by the way, what else is Al doing to pay the bills these days?

In 2004, Gore co-launched Generation Investment Management, a company for which he serves as Chair. The company was a new London fund management firm that plans to create environment-friendly portfolios. Generation Investment will manage assets of institutional investors, such as pension funds, foundations and endowments, as well as those of 'high net worth individuals,' from offices in London and Washington, D.C.

Gore also became a partner in the venture capital firm, Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers, heading that firm's climate change solutions group.

You know, those businesses do appear to be scientific.