Some Of This Some Of That

KEEP THIS IN MIND AS YOU ARE DOING YOUR CLEANUP CHORES.

If you ever get the sudden urge to run around naked,
You should sniff some Windex first.
It'll keep you from streaking.


FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!

Except that one where you're naked in church.



"Everyone is a hero if you catch us at the right time"

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"


The coroner posted this ad:

If your name is Grady I have a deal for you:

Hmmmm, I wonder?

Father-son duo accused of gravestone robbing

COLONIE, N.Y. -Police are puzzling over what would motivate a father and son to haul off six tombstones from a monument company in suburban Albany. Town of Colonie Detective Lt. John Van Alstyne said he's not sure what kind of aftermarket there might be for the hefty granite grave-markers.

Police charged a 35-year-old man and his 19-year-old son with felony criminal possession of stolen property. They were sent to Albany County Jail without bail.

The men were arrested after police got a call around 1 a.m. Sunday about a suspicious truck at Stefanazzi & Spargo Granite Co. A traffic stop of the rented truck turned up the six monuments, which weigh 300 to 600 pounds each and are valued at $6,000.

There may be a few other names that can be added to the list.



We are closing in on time to do your taxes.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."

Tax time reminds me of something my dad told me: A penny saved is a government oversight.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.



A hot dog at the game beats roast beef at the Ritz.
~ Humphrey Bogart