Ramblings

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?


Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?


If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.


Did you know?

You burn more calories sleeping

than you do watching television.

So the best thing you can do is take a nap while watching television.


Speaking of television, my wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

I am having trouble seeing to type because I have two black eyes.



Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?


I think I know why I started smoking;



Remember this:

In just two days from now,tomorrow will be yesterday.


Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.