Labels

Thanks to lawyers, almost everything you buy nowadays has some sort of warning label.

How many of you have seen one or more of these?



“DO NOT put any person in this washer” from a tag on a front-loading washing machine.

“Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level” from a label on a personal watercraft.

“Do not iron” from a Super Lotto ticket.

“Don't try to dry your phone in a microwave oven” from a cell phone.

“Please do not use this directory while operating a moving vehicle” from the cover of a phone directory.

"Not intended for highway use" from a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.

"Harmful if swallowed" from a 5-inch fishing lure with three nasty steel hooks.

"This product is not to be used in bathrooms" from a bathroom heater.

"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use" from a battery.

"Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult" from A CD player.

"For lifting purposes only" from a car jack.

"Do not drive car or operate machinery" from a children's cough medicine.

"Do not put lit candles on phone" from a cordless phone.

"This cape does not give the wearer the ability to fly" from a halloween Batman costume.

"Caution: Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object" from a hammer.

"Not tested on animals" from a New Zealand insect spray.

"Not dishwasher safe" from a TV remote controller.

"Do not pour liquids into your television set" from a television owner’s manual.

"Instructional video on hooking up your VCR included" from a VCR box.

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish" from a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"After opening, keep upright" from a bottle-top of a flavored milk drink.

"Warning -- May cause drowsiness." from a box of Nytol® Sleep Aid.

"Do not use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity" from a box of birthday cake candles.

"Warning: Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice" from a box of rat poison.

"This camera only works when there is film inside" from a camera.

"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers" from a can of air freshener.

"May irritate eyes" from a can of self-defense pepper spray.

"Spray works in sub-zero temperatures" from a can of windscreen de-icing spray.

"Do not drive with sunshield in place" from a cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard.

"Do not eat toner" from a cartridge for a laser printer.

"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers" from a computer mouse.

"Caution: Do not spray in eyes" from a container of underarm deodorant.

"Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher" from a dishwasher.

"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you" from a helmet mounted mirror used by USA cyclists.

"Fits one head" from a hotel-provided shower cap.

"Never iron clothes while they are being worn" from a household iron.

"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious" from a hand-held massager.

"Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions" from a snow sled.

"Never use hair dryer while sleeping" from a hair dryer.

"DO NOT use massage chair without clothing... and, never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving" from a massage chair.

"Not for human consumption" from a package of dice.

"This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA" from a packet of juggling balls.

"Caution - Risk of Fire" from a popular manufactured fireplace log.

"Warning: May cause drowsiness" from a prescription of sleeping pills.

"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death" from a .22 caliber rifle.

"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand" from a chainsaw.

"Remove child before folding" from a baby stroller.



Important things to know before you buy a product!!

I know I won't buy anything until I have read all the warning labels!!

Return tomorrow to see who isn't reading my blog.