Meet The Stupids

OK what did we do before technology? How long have GPS devices been popular for the masses to use?

DUMB

Couple Stranded in Desert by GPS Device

A retired Pennsylvania couple stranded in their compact car in the Utah desert for four days subsisted on crackers and soda before hiking to safety.

Ray and Sue Beard are back home after spending four harrowing days in the desert when the directions supplied by their portable navigation device led them far off the beaten path in Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument, 1.9-million acres of rugged public land in southern Utah.

Sue Beard, a former editor of The Waynesboro Record Herald, and her husband, Ray, 67, were traveling to Torrey, Utah, from the northern edge of Arizona when they became stuck and damaged their rented car on a winding, deserted mountain road.

"I know finding us would have been like finding a needle in a haystack," said Sue Beard, 61. "When we got stuck, I was sure we weren't going to make it."

With only scant supplies, including peanut butter crackers and Diet Coke, their situation looked dire. Married just five months, they wrote letters to their family and amendments to their wills while daytime temperatures soared to the 90s and overnight lows fell to the 30s for four days and nights.

"We each had three crackers every morning and we savored them like juicy steaks," Sue Beard said.

During the day, they opened the car doors for ventilation, but that would attract chigoe fleas that left them with hundreds of bites.

Aware that they would not last much longer unless they ventured out for help, the Beards gathered their remaining supplies on May 31 and tried to hike to a main road.

Battling dehydration, it took the couple more than five hours to cover a little over 7 1/2 miles before they curled up to rest under a black umbrella. They were awakened by the sound of a passing motorcycle and were eventually able to get the attention of another group of riders.

"We had been praying for our angels of mercy," Sue Beard said. "We had no idea they would be on motorcycles!"

The Beards hope their experience will serve as a warning to other motorists who travel in unfamiliar territory without checking the route supplied by a GPS device. There were no signs along the route warning them of the treacherous conditions that lay ahead, they said.

My goodness, there were no signs warning of the treacherous conditions.

I guess their eyesight was good enough to read directions on the GPS device but they were unable to see the winding, deserted mountain road.

So, if the GPS says it is OK to, and there are no signs saying it's not OK to, then driving off a cliff is someone else's fault .


DUMBER

So you know that backyard project you want to do and you need your buddies' help so you supply the beer?

Well you are not supposed to drink the beer until the project is complete.

Man feels fine after being shot in head by nailgun

SHAWNEE, Kan. - A suburban Kansas City man accidentally fired a 2.5-inch nail into the top of his head, but says he now feels fine after a doctor used a claw hammer to remove it. The mishap occurred Friday while George Chandler, of Shawnee, and a friend were working on a backyard project.

The nail gun hose became tangled, causing the powerful tool to fire once. Chandler said Monday he told his friend he didn't know where the nail went, but he felt a sting on the top of his head.

Soon they discovered that the nail was driven into Chandler's skull, so they called an ambulance. He was rushed to a hospital, where a doctor used a common claw hammer to remove the nail, Chandler said.

Chandler said he feels "very lucky, very, very lucky" to have escaped serious injury.

There you go ladies, a confirmation that men are hard headed.


DUMBEST

Man accused of drunken driving twice in 2 hours

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. - A Sheboygan man is behind bars after being arrested twice for drunken driving within two hours early Tuesday. Police say the 24-year-old driver was stopped by an officer about 1:50 a.m. after he was spotted driving the wrong way on a one-way street in Sheboygan.

The man was arrested, cited for driving drunk and released to his brother about 3 a.m. at the police station.

Police say about 40 minutes later, an officer saw the same man, driving the same vehicle at 20 mph over the 30-mph speed limit.

He was pulled over and cited again for operating while intoxicated. This time he was taken to the Sheboygan County Detention Center.

Never a dull moment in Sheboygan "A"?


DUMBEST OF DUMB

Have you ever ridden with someone else only to find yourself in need of a ride home? Well you can always take the bus.

Man accused of stealing bus after friend's arrest

COLCHESTER, Conn. - State troopers say an Enfield man was charged with stealing a school bus after telling officers he needed a ride home after a friend's arrest.

Peter Smario is charged with larceny, drug possession, criminal trespass and possession of a weapon in a vehicle, police said.

Police said several drivers reported a yellow school bus driving erratically and hitting construction cones on Route 2 in Colchester. The vehicle had been taken from a nearby bus yard.

Police said Smario was carrying heroin, a knife and a large amount of cash when they arrested him during the Thursday night incident. Troopers say the 28-year-old told them his friend had been arrested earlier that evening, leaving him without a ride home.

Is someone standing on the corner handing out free samples of stupid pills?

It seems like a lot of people have gone stupid nowadays.