Rules

Ahh, December and the Christmas season bring out the best in people.


Man Calls 911 to Report Stolen Marijuana

WICHITA, Kan. - A Wichita man called 911 to report he was the victim of an armed robbery. The theft? A pound of marijuana worth about $1,100 that he had been trying to sell at his home.

The victim told police Thursday that a buyer had pulled out a sawed-off shotgun and stole the drugs.

Police brought in a drug-sniffing dog to the house and located more marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

The victim was booked into Sedgwick County jail on several charges, including possession with the intent to sell drug.

The thief has not been found.

Rule number 1: Don't smoke lots of your product and then call the cops!

Rule number 2: If you are going to call the cops and you have product in the house, smoke it all before they get there.

Rule number 3: You are a crook, don't complain when another crook rips you off!!






Shoppers Help Thief, Think Cops Are Attackers

BERLIN - German shoppers sprang to the help of a shoplifter who was being detained after trying to steal clothes at a department store, wrongly assuming she was being attacked by strangers.

Two store detectives caught a woman in her mid-30s stealing garments in the city of Mainz near Frankfurt and attempted to detain her for questioning.

But the woman tried to free herself, and bit, kicked and hit the detectives who wrestled her down in a skirmish, prompting passers-by worried about her safety to help her.

"They hauled the detectives away from her ... The woman managed to run away," Mainz police said in a statement.

Rule number 1: Always state you are the police even if you are store cops!

Rule number 2: One woman against two men are not good odds. Always have more help!

Rule number 3: Eat fewer doughnuts so two men can handle one woman!!!!






Man Impersonates Cop to Go Bowling

SAVANNAH, Ga. - A Savannah man went to jail this weekend for impersonating a sheriff's deputy so he could go bowling. Jeffrey Eugene Ferguson, 46, pulled up to a gate at Hunter Army Airfield on Saturday and showed a guard a driver's license that was cracked in half, police said.

When the guard requested a second form of ID, Ferguson pulled out a Chatham County sheriff's lieutenant badge.

The guard called Savannah-Chatham Metropolitan Police, who responded and discovered Ferguson's license had been suspended for failure to pay child support, according to police Sgt. Mike Wilson.

Ferguson, who was jailed on charges of impersonating a police officer, later told authorities he found the badge at a work site.

He told them he was not trying to get any special police priviliges - just to get on the military post to go to its bowling alley.

Does this town have no public bowling alley?

Rule number 1: If you are that stupid, spend your free time reading a self-education book.

Rule number 2: If you are still that stupid, refer to rule number 1.






Man Allegedly Stabbed Over PB&J Prank

VEEDERSBURG, Ind. - A foundry worker accused the wrong man of putting motor oil on his peanut butter and jelly sandwich - and wound up taking a trip to the hospital.

Bradley McManomy, 27, of Veedersburg, stabbed 22-year-old Jeremy Gordon twice in his lower leg with a 3- to 4-inch blade, police said.

Gordon confronted McManomy on Tuesday in a restroom of the Fountain Foundry Corp. in Veedersburg, 30 miles southwest of Lafayette, because he thought McManomy had put the oil on his sandwich, police said.

"It wasn't even the right guy," Fountain County Sheriff Robert Bass said. "This is an example of how just a practical joke could turn bad."

McManomy was arrested on suspicion of battery with a deadly weapon. He was being held at the Fountain County Jail on $15,000 bond Wednesday.

Gordon was treated at St. Clare Medical Center in Crawfordsville and released.

Bass said charges might also be filed against Gordon for starting the fight.


Rule number 1: Find the right guy who did it and both McManomy and Gordon should kick his butt.

Rule number 2: Find something better than a peanut and jelly sandwich to take for lunch.

Rule number 3: If your wife makes your lunch and it is peanut butter and jelly, she is having an affair while you are at work.

Rule number 4: If you were "taking care of business at home" she would make you a lot better sandwiches!!!!!!!



Wow, Christmas is close. Remember, shop til you drop but save time for the blog that gives you more of less.


Heading to the mall