Drunk Dialing

This day's gone by, the sun is setting in the west,

It's just another day, it's just another test.

As lightness dims and the darkness falls,

The voices of depression begin their calls.

Sitting in the darkness, while watching time pass,

The time comes to add ice cubes to a tall glass.

Fill the glass straight with old Jack Daniel's Number 7,

Sip it real quick, hope I get a piece of heaven.

Grab the remote and watch the news on the T. V.,

I wonder when there will be something good I will see.

Nothing but bad news, which calls for another tall Jack,

This time around, I better add a beer back.

No matter what the channel is that I do click,

I can't stop hearing the voice of a raving lunatic.

Listen to the shouts, "I'll bury you in the flower bed,"

Guess it's time for me to have a tall Johnny Walker Red.

Woman, you better do what I say because I'm running your life,

I even knocked you up while still married to my wife.

Oh, what a tramp, it's always the woman's fault,

And on that note, it's time to drink a 40 malt.

Who the hell do you think you are having you breasts enlarged?

I warn you to my credit card they better not have been charged.

They're just too big, you have done such a sin,

Time for me to have a Tonic and Gin.

There you are wearing those real tight tops,

Just prancing down the street, wanting to be checked out by the boobies cops.

Oh ya, baby, listen to me cause I'm screaming like a lark,

Now straight out of the bottle, I'm drinking my Makers Mark.

I'll beat you as much as I want, even run you over with my car,

Nothing will happen to me, I'm Mel Gibson, a big movie star.