Rules For The Road

IQ test to get a license.

You should have to prove you know why it's a bad idea to drive 85 mph in thick fog.

Or why four-wheel drive means nothing when you need to stop on ice.

Proving that applying makeup, shaving, eating, and reading while driving are all unintelligent acts.

Why installing a $4,500 dollar stereo with subs bigger than the wheels, in a car worth $1,200 is smart.

Pickup Trucks jacked up off the ground that require a 6 ' stepladder in order to gain entry into is somehow intelligent?

A $50 set of four plastic spinner hubcaps is four too many.

And just because a drunk girl got 20 pounds of beads for flashing on spring break is no reason to hang them from the rear view mirror, blocking their vision entirely.

It doesn't take a dozen bumper stickers to state an opinion -- You want to save the whales, good for you. You think Calvin pissing on something is funny? It's not.

Wouldn't it be nice if the fast lane actually lived up to its name? Can't decide whether you want to go 45 or 75 mph? To the far right lane move over.

Cell phones can cause gas station fires.



While pumping gas, using or turning on your phone can release a charge of static electricity that will ignite the fuel.

False. This rumor dates back to the '90s when a phony e-mail made the rounds of people's in-boxes around the world.

The e-mail claimed that Shell Oil had issued a warning about three instances of cell phones causing fires at the pumps.

When contacted about it in 2003, Shell claimed it was a complete hoax and that it wasn't aware of any such incidents.

While it has been proved that static electricity can cause fuel vapors to combust, cell phones do not emit a strong enough amount to ignite anything.

Smoking, however, will still cause problems.

Cell phones can be used to open up locked cars.

Broadcasting the sound of a remote keyless entry device over a phone can open up a locked car.


False. The rumor is that if you have an extra key remote at home, you can call someone and have them hit the open button while you hold your phone up to the lock.

Well, those entry systems use radio waves and proximity – think about when you've tried to open your car from too far a distance – and can't be transmitted over a phone.

Unfortunately, if you lock your keys in the car, you'll have to get your spare set or AAA to open it for you.

Just imagine how uncrowded the roads would be if drivers had to pass an IQ test every other year.