Stories

Ok I had a strange experience the other day.

I'm trying to cross the street when this lady on the phone with 8 kids in a van didn't stop at the stop sign, rather she coasted through it.

Instinctively I hollered out at her, "Have you forgotten how to stop?"

She slammed on her brakes, jumped out of the car, and yelled, "What makes you think they are all mine?"

I must be more cautious!!



Speaking of being cautious....

I was walking down the street the other day when I bumped into a solider.

I immediately apologized for running into him to which he replied, "That's OK, you probably didn't see me because I am wearing my camouflage uniform."



Reading....

I just read an article on the dangers of drinking.

Scared the Hell out of me.

So that's it!

After today, no more reading!



Speaking of reading....

I just saw an ad for a funeral home where they said the cost of funerals has gone up due to a cost of living increase.



Front Door....

I just had 6 locks put on my front door. I lock 3 and leave 3 unlocked. That way when someone tries to pick the locks they are always locking 3 of them!!



Speaking of front doors....

When my doorbell rings I make a habit of answering the door wearing my jacket and holding my car keys.

That way if it is someone I don't want to see I can say I was just leaving.



Speaking of leaving....

The other day I wanted a hamburger so I headed to the corner restaurant to grab one. When I got there, the sign outside said "Wednesday: Pork Chops."

I drove all over town looking for a place that had a sign saying they had hamburgers on Wednesday.



Speaking of eating....

I have a friend who went out on a blind date the other night and the deal was I would call him on his cell phone while they were at dinner in case it wasn't going well.

I called him as planned and listened as he exclaimed, "Oh no! When? How did it happen? OK I'm leaving now. I will be there as soon as I can."

When I saw him later I asked him what his date said when he told her his aunt died.

He told me she said, "Thank God because if your aunt hadn't died, mine would have had to in about 5 minutes!!"



Did you know....

You can observe a lot by just watching.



Speaking of watching....

I suspect the landing is going to hurt.


Looks like so much fun, right?



Speaking of fun....

We are on the downhill side to Super Bowl weekend!!