Special Gifts

OK, so black Friday is over and Cyber Monday is over as well.


I guess if you want a T. V., Computer, IPod, or a camera, there are deals out there.


Me, I wanted to get Vicki something special this year so I searched for 12 special gifts.

The first was a Partridge in a Pear Tree.

Only after I looked stupid when I tried to get one of the Partridge family from the old T. V. show to return my emails did I learn that a partridge was a bird.



Even though it is a strange gift, if I find one I have a pear tree in the back yard.


Next I was off in search of Two Turtle Doves. This I thought could make some money if indeed I could find one let alone two birds mixed with a turtle.


I was not quite sure about that one, but what the heck, I fired off my email requests to several stores.

I received somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 responses that I didn't think used the proper language considering they were a store and I, after all, was a potential customer, not a pervert as some suggested.


Three French Hens were next on my list and that was easy.


Off to Albertsons I went and bought three fryers figuring Vic would not know if they were French.


Now it gets to be a challenge as I have no clue what Four Calling Birds even are.

Thanks to the Internet I am now enlightened. A calling bird is an Americanization of the traditional English wording colly birds. Colly is a dialect word meaning black and refers to the European blackbird Turdus Merula.



Five Gold Rings

Well this is a lot easier. Just head to the jewelry store as women like rings.

Only thing is they like the gold rings complemented by diamonds. Oh boy, nothing but dollar signs.

Six Geese A-laying

Not so hard to find as I am going to take bread crumbs to a park and get these little devils caged up.

Seven Swans A-swimming

These are not so hard to find either so I am going to take bread crumbs to a park and get these little devils caged up then put them in our pool since they have to be swimming.

Eight Maids A-milking

OK I figured this was a no brainer as well so off to Anderson Dairy I went.

They didn't have any cows there let alone maids. In fact they suggested I call Annie the Maid or Maids R Us to see if they could help.

Nine Ladies Dancing

For this one I went to Cheetah's and talked to the girls as they were pole dancing. Told them I wanted to take them home for my wife for Christmas and immediately the bouncers came and escorted me out. So I will have to keep shopping on that one.

Ten Lords A-leaping

This was easy. I ran down and hit up the Chippendales but they want a lot of cash for a private deal.

Eleven Pipers Piping

For this one I went to Mr. Bill's pipe shop and wait til Vicki sees the pipers I lined up.

Twelve Drummers Drumming

I called the Army on this one but they advised me the drum and bugle core is a matched set and they would not split them. I hope Vicki enjoys the horn section.


You know after all this maybe I should forget the exotic gifts and get her a frying pan or maybe a vacuum instead.

All those birds make a mess of your house for sure, not to mention all those people.