More Stupid Is as Stupid Does

From the "How Stupid Are You" Department:



Man Drives Into Subway Tunnel by Mistake

LISBON, Portugal - A driver took a wrong turn and headed down a subway tunnel in Portugal's second-largest city Monday.

The driver, who was alone in his vehicle and was said to be in his fifties, veered down a ramp set aside for emergency vehicles during the morning commute in Porto.

He then drove about 550 yards on the tracks, forcing operators to halt trains in the tunnels, the company that runs the network said. Emergency services later towed the vehicle out of the tunnel.

Can't you just hear him now, "Man, when did they put all these tracks in the road, and why is it dark in here."

By the way, that light at the end of the tunnel really is a train!!!!








Man Tried to Hide Guitar in Pants, Store Owner Says

DE QUEEN, Ark. - The guitar-shaped bulge in Morgan Conatser's clothing tipped off a music store owner that there might be a crime in progress.

Clifton Lovell, owner of Guitars and Cadillacs on U.S. Highway 71 in De Queen, was talking with a customer last week when he saw Conatser, 29, walking out of the store.

"I saw him walking out to his pickup truck and the bulges in his leather jacket. I said, 'Hey what have you got there,"' Clifton Lovell said.

He said Conatser, 29, replied, "Nothing."

Lovell pointed toward the unnatural shapes in Conatser's jacket and pants and said, "You've got something."

Conatser then removed a solid body electric guitar from his pants leg and from underneath his jacket.

"The neck of the guitar was almost down to his knee and the back of the guitar was almost up to his neck. It wasn't hard to spot. There was no way he could sit down or get into the pickup," Lovell said.

"This is a new one on me and I couldn't believe he tried," Lovell said. "The strings were pressed down and he didn't make any noise."

Too bad the store didn't have cameras so we could watch this genius shoving the guitar down his pants!!

Arkansas right, duh, well they will never spot this if I shove it down my pants!!







Speaking of shoving things down your pants:

Nobody move or the one on the right gets it, too

Would-be kidnapper shoots own left testicle, police say, then nails left calf

WICHITA, Kan. - A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin.

The man had just stuck the gun back into his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle. He cringed, causing the gun to fire again and strike him in the left calf.

When the shooting ended, the 23-year-old man managed to walk himself into the hospital for treatment. He and his two accomplices, ages 18 and 20, were arrested for aggravated attempted kidnapping and conspiracy to obstruct justice.

Is that what they call a "hair" trigger? If he cringed many more times who knows what he might have shot off!!!






I am getting sleepy so I will finish with this gem:

Window Washer Falls Asleep on 20th Floor

NASHVILLE, Tenn. - A window washer working on a downtown Nashville high-rise building apparently feel asleep on the job.

The man, whom fire officials did not immediately identify, was cleaning the glass on the 20th floor of the Fifth Third Bank building on Church Street Friday when several onlookers noticed he was not moving.

The man came to after firefighters tugged on his ropes, then held up a sign from inside the window to get his attention.

The worker lowered himself to the sidewalk, where he was examined by paramedics.

Assistant Fire Chief Lee Bergeron said it appeared as if the man fell asleep, but added that he couldn't be certain.

"I figured he had just either passed out or maybe he had fallen asleep," said onlooker Leroy Anderson, who said he had been watching the man for 30 minutes before fire engines arrived. "It's sunny and warm up there, and there's no wind."

Nashville Fire Chief Henry Booker said the worker was taken to Baptist Hospital to be checked for a rapid heartbeat, but said he expected the man to be released.

"It's unusual to fall asleep outside while on scaffolding that high up," Booker said.

Unusual no duh!! Rapid heartbeat no duh!!

He must not move around much in his sleep and for sure he must not sleepwalk!!

I wonder if he will be fired for sleeping on the job??



Oh boy, we made it!

Hit the mall y'all, time is getting short!!

Then join me again tomorrow for a lot more of a lot less.