Wacky World We Live In

Man who wanted picture gets 'train rash'

FARGO, N.D. -Police say a man who wanted his picture taken next to a moving train suffered "train rash" but no serious injuries when he got too close to the train.

Police Sgt. Jeff Skuza said the 34-year-old man and two friends were in Fargo for a conference. He said they went around the security gates at a train crossing so he could have his picture taken.

Skuza said the man thought the picture would be better if he got closer to the train.

But he stumbled and the train caught his back, ripping his shirt and pants. Skuza called it "a bad case of train rash." He also said alcohol was a factor.

The cameraman said just one more step back, ha ha.

Now that had to be one heck of a picture. Ripped his clothes off just as the camera snapped.


Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette

Man clipped by train after lighting cigarette

BENTON, Ill. -A southern Illinois man will probably pay more attention the next time he lights a cigarette near railroad tracks.

Authorities said 25-year-old Brandon Robles escaped serious injury early Sunday when he was clipped by a passing Union Pacific train when he stopped near the tracks for a smoke.

Workers on the train told authorities they thought they'd hit a man, launching a search that included dogs. But nobody was found.

Robles had managed to walk home, only to call emergency dispatchers hours later to report that he couldn't get out of bed. He was treated at a hospital.

Robles told investigators he'd been drinking heavily and saw the train approaching when he stopped at the tracks for a cigarette.

Now I'm a feller with a heart of gold
And the ways of a gentleman I've been told
The kind of guy that wouldn't even harm a flea
But if me and a certain character met
The guy that invented the cigarette
I'd murder that son-of-a-gun in the first degree

It ain't cuz I don't smoke myself
And I don't reckon that it'll harm your health
Smoked all my life and I ain't dead yet

But nicotine slaves are all the same
At a pettin' party or a poker game
Everything gotta stop while they have a cigarette

Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette
Puff, puff, puff and if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St. Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hate to make him wait
But you just gotta have another cigarette


Time for paper plates:

Woman faces charge after dishwashing dispute

FORT WORTH, Texas -Police say a 20-year-old woman faces an aggravated assault charge after she bit her boyfriend, broke a picture frame across his face and swung at him with a sword during an argument about him not doing the dishes.

The 21-year-old man told police that he became involved in an argument because the woman was upset that the dishes were not clean.

Police Lt. Paul Henderson said the woman told the man to leave the apartment, but he refused.

The woman then tried to physically remove the man. During the ensuing struggle, the woman bit the man's right shoulder and broke a picture frame across his face, causing visible cuts.

The woman then grabbed an approximately 2-foot sword and swung it at him, but missed.

The woman was released from a Mansfield jail after posting a $10,000 bond, jail officials said.

Maybe they should work out an exchange with some college students.

Trading sex for adventure, tickets and housework

A recent survey of students at the University of Michigan found that 27% of men and 14% of women had offered services or items in exchange for sex.

Now that's a heck of a deal.


Kentucky woman turns tricks to fill her gas tank!

The devil OPEC made her do it.


Some times I dress up like a gas station attendant and ask my wife if she wants regular mid grade or high octane.