Prime Time

Lets have some fun with the news stories.

Who's your daddy?

DNA Test in Store for Polygamy Kids

Texas Hopes to End Confusion Over Children's Parentage

I hate to tell Texas this, but their machine is going to tilt and they will never know whose daddy is who.

Do the math. One guy has 8 wives and 10 kids, and eventually a brother is going to marry his sister. It's the law of averages. At the very least, cousins will marry cousins. The "in breeding" has begun and the DNA machine will break.

Personally, I can't figure out how the men have time for work or sleep. A guy has 8 wives which he must service at least 3 to 4 times a week and there are only 7 days in a week. I guess that would be a Viagra moment or two.

Question - Can someone tell me why no one has done DNA testing on Michael Jackson's kids?

Did you know:

Regulations matter little without regulators.
Rules only work if there is the money, and people, to enforce them.

Earth calling:

Hawking Says Unintelligent Life Likely

Famed astrophysicist Stephen Hawking has been thinking a lot about the cosmic question, "Are we alone?" The answer is probably not, he says.

If there is life elsewhere in the universe, Hawking asks why haven't we stumbled onto some alien broadcasts in space, maybe something like "alien quiz shows?"

One option is that there likely isn't life elsewhere. Or maybe there is intelligent life elsewhere, but when it gets smart enough to send signals into space, it also is smart enough to make destructive nuclear weapons.

"Primitive life is very common and intelligent life is fairly rare," he said, then quickly added: "Some would say it has yet to occur on Earth."

Good point!!

An example that intelligent life is fairly rare:

Bus driver chooses GPS over gigantic warning sign, plows into overpass


The driver of a charter bus decided to casually follow the soothing turn-by-turn directions that were being emitted from the nearby GPS unit rather than actually noticing the enormous clearance sign on the overpass ahead. As you can likely guess, the 11-foot, 8-inch-high vehicle plowed right into the 9-foot bridge.

Or maybe there is intelligent life elsewhere.

Double speak:

Democrats Complain About Complaining

It's come to this. Democratic presidential rivals are now griping about which of the two is the bigger complainer.

If they are complaining now, what are they going to do when the phone rings at 3 A.M.?

No more chain gangs for you:

Sheriff Accused of Jail Sex Slave Operation

Authorities charge an Oklahoma sheriff with coercing and bribing female inmates so he could use them in a sex-slave operation he allegedly ran out of his jail.

Did he bribe them with a get-outta-jail-free card?

Hello Security:

Freedom Tower Plans Found in Trash

Officials want to know how the plans for a new skyscraper at the World Trade Center site ended up in the trash. A homeless man tells the New York Post he found two sets of blueprints for the Freedom Tower, which is now under construction at ground zero.

That homeless man should be hired to run our Homeland Security Department.

Just like the little engine that thought he could:

Ohio Chipotle Reopens After 180 Fall Ill

Scores of people reported falling ill after dining at a Chipotle Mexican Grill restaurant in Kent, Ohio, last week. Some of the stricken were Kent State University students who had received free coupons for food.

If you don't get them the first time, try try again.

Experts Blame Titanic Sinking on Rivets.

The Titanic was billed as unsinkable. It went down 400 miles off Newfoundland less than three hours after striking an iceberg. Two metallurgists say low-quality rivets played a role in the sinking of the luxury liner in the northern Atlantic Ocean on April 15, 1912.












Yeah, if you look close you can see some bad rivets.




I saved the best for last:

'Calendar Girls' Fundraising Plan Fizzles

A tongue-in-cheek plan hatched by a group of moms to raise money for their children's rural school has backfired.

The seven middle-aged women posed for an "erotic" calendar last November.




I'm at a loss why sales fizzled, how bout you?